Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [OCTOBER 2018]

apsurd DerealizacijaApsurd – Derealizacija
I’m so stoked on this band, this is the second time in a month they’ve been featured on The Doesn’t Suck. Chances are you’ve been sleepin’ pretty heavily on Serbia. I’ll admit, I have been too, so let this be an alarm clock to us all. Serbia has more than just vampires and paprika goddammit. Serbia has vampires? I thought that was Romania.. No! It’s Serbia too ok. Educate yourself for Jesus Christs sake. This is possibly my favourite hardcore album of 2018, so far, and there is some stiff competition out there. I read on their bandcamp page that this is influenced by the former Yugoslavia hardcore scene.. Cool! No wonder it sounds so vital. To me it seems stripped right down. Just straight up hardcore. No bells and/or whistles, maybe a couple interesting guitar solos. Nice and fast and relentless. If you’re a hardcore purist, maybe this is exactly what you’re craving. Maybe you’re also craving tacos. I know I am.   Listen on Bandcamp

strange ranger how it all went byStrange Ranger – How It All Went By
Well it’s no secret, I’m basically perma-boned on Strange Ranger and have been since they had a cooler name and made better music. It’s ok though, because even the watered down version of Sioux Falls is better than almost any current band out there. And let’s be clear, when I say “current” I’m not including those on-again off-again bands that are still touring 25 years after they peaked. Wow! Why am I being so mean? I’m sorry. I just got myself into a bad mood somehow. Look, I like this EP a lot. It’s a little more Rot Forever and a little less Daymoon. Loved Daymoon, but I hope they stay on this trajectory cuz let’s face it, Rot Forever was one of the best albums of the decade. And if you don’t agree with that then you need to brush up your music listening skills pal! Wow! This rage inside of me.. Where is this coming from? Get off my back! Get me a Pepsi! YOU’RE THE ONE THAT’S CRAZY! *runs into the streets and starts howling at the moon* Oh wait that’s a street light. *goes back inside and continues watching Jeopardy*   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

the mustard tigers thanks for the toastThe Mustard Tigers – Thanks For The Toast
Erf! It’s so promising to hear young bands out now doing punk that captures the spirit so perfectly of the stuff I grew up listening to in the 90’s. I guess these Mustard Tigers guys actually broke up last year, so not as promising as I thought maybe, but comforting nonetheless. What’s equally awesome is the way they recorded this album; Live in the studio in 4 hours, just like every great punk album should be. Snotty as hell too. The whole album reeks of an unkept teenage bedroom. You know that Febreeze commercial (shout out to Febreeze), where the mom is like “You need to clean this room” and the kid’s like “CLEAN IT?” … (uh yeah,fuckin’ clean it kid. What don’t you understand?) Then at the end some girls come over and they’re all “Damn boi! This room smells clean as hell! Time for you to lose your virginity!” It’s a pretty scientific commercial. What were we talking about?   Listen on Bandcamp

neds total disasterNeds – Total Disaster
Neds is the name of the band, which means (as any logical person would assume) that all the members of this band are named Ned, which (as any educated person knows) is short for Alfned. Wow, hey, what are you doing? You don’t need to google this. I already did the research pal. Moving on.. These Alfneds, are really dishing out some solid sing-along-able indie punk; Right off the medieval streets of Rennes France. All the songs are in English but with noticeable accents that make it sound twice as rad. Look, for all I know, ‘Neds’ means something totally different in France. Maybe it’s not even a name. Is that really any of my business though? Maybe it is. I don’t know. What’s with all the questions?   Listen on Bandcamp

Basement benders schrapnel songsBasement Benders – Shrapnel Songs
Straight outta Chattanooga Tennessee (Home of.. umm.. choo choo trains?) The Basement Benders are back, so get ready to rock! Seriously, if you’re not ready to rock, this album is going to be a very strenuous experience for you. How does one prepare oneself for a’rockin’ though? Good question friend. It’s a three step process: Step 1. Stretch your back and groin. Step 2. Apply deodorant liberally. Step 3. Do a little practice rocking before the real thing. Now you’re ready to flat-out rock. Proceed with complete abandon. Supposedly this band has members of This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb, which explains the awesomeness. Also I’m hoping if they’re reading this, maybe they can offer some insight into a post I did a while ago (see previous link) about a Pipe Bomb show in Asheville NC. That would be great. Or not, that’s cool too. Whatever. I don’t even care. Fine then! YOU’RE THE ONE THAT’S CRAZY!   Listen on Bandcamp

ENDNOTES: Welp, October is over which means I’m another year older and still living under the same ethos as always: Don’t resist change, don’t lose touch, don’t get left behind. That goes for the music I listen to, and also everything else in life. I was reading The Invisible Man by H.G. Wells last night and in one passage he used the N-word, just totally nonchalantly like it was the most normal thing ever. It got me thinking: Thank god the world has changed since 1897, and people don’t just openly talk like that anymore (well at least most of us know that it’s wrong now). What I’m trying to get at is, things have to change. Words and schools of thought are going to be taken away from us, and we can’t be defensive about it. We can’t be protective of it. We have to let it go. Someday, in the not too distant future, we’re going to look back at a lot of the things we said and did in the 90’s and 2000’s and we’re going to see it the same way I saw the N-word in The Invisible Man: We didn’t realize how ignorant we were at the time, but it’s a good thing we changed our ways.

As always, I hope you enjoy the albums I’m finding. I hope this is the new music resource of your dreams, and I hope you continue to seek out weird music and find new bands. Do not forget to check the Scrap Heap for all the other killer releases I found along the way. This month I’m leaving you with a music video for one of my favourite songs of 2018, including lyrics. Amazing lyrics! And the IDLES Joy As An Act Of Resistance LP has one of my all-time favourite album covers. Hope you enjoy!

My blood brother is an immigrant – A beautiful immigrant
My blood brother’s Freddie Mercury – A Nigerian mother of three
He’s made of bones, he’s made of blood He’s made of flesh,
he’s made of love, He’s made of you, he’s made of me, Unity
Fear leads to panic, panic leads to pain – Pain leads to anger, anger leads to hate
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Danny Nedelko!
My best friend is an alien (I know him, and he is) – My best friend is a citizen
He’s strong, he’s earnest, he’s innocent
My blood brother is Malala – A Polish butcher, he’s Mo Farah
He’s made of bones, he’s made of blood, He’s made of flesh,
he’s made of love, he’s made of you, he’s made of me, Unity
Fear leads to panic, panic leads to pain – Pain leads to anger, anger leads to hate
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Danny Nedelko!

COMPOST (#016) – Take This To Heart Records

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I thought this was going to be a Christmas album, based on the artwork, but it’s not, unless Christmas to you is a bunch of sobbing emo songs. Take This To Heart Records is like a box of chocolates and here is their variety pack. Whether you like your emo dark and bitter or, umm sweet and bitter(?), there’s a chocolate in here for you somewhere. Just take a small bite out of each one until you find something you like. I know some of these are overly sweet and a little warm, probably kind of soft. You can leave those ones for the kids. This is really turning out be a be a Christmas miracle. Happy Halloween everybody!

From the MOST INTERESTING SONG TITLES DEPARTMENT – Here are some recent discoveries:

chachi on acid keep your idealism practicalcharmpit squirrel away the summergood time aussie keep it in ya fuckin headjim murtagh my friends are coming overjust another fake bit poserkick set serene sundaykillsnitch engage what is a peckermurderperson for hire i thought id be dead by nowmustangs and madras caution bangmylo shift and georgie isaacs partners in grimenothing dance on the blacktopperky macabretest pilot demo 3test pilot demo 4the long knivesthe noble savages trouble brewingthe worst generation nasty spiritsvanvancar punks not dead but the old taylor isvibe out cloud puddingzombie met girl super atomic werewolf chicks on motorcycles

“Theme from “New Girl” Weeknights on FOX”
“Waldo Finds Himself”
“Drunk During the First Day of Flight School”
“Take Some Pills And Drive Around”
“Mall Goth Is Alive And Well And Living In America”
“Super Atomic Werewolf Chicks On Motorcycles”
“Time Sure Flies (When You’re Young And Jerking Off)”
“Go Go Gadget Anxiety Attack”
“(HOPE) Is Just Another Word With A Hole In It”
“Procrastination Masturbation”
“More Fun Than A Finger In The Bum”
“Get In The Fucking Robot Shinji”
“It’s Always Summer Up My Skirt”
“If I Start Snoring (Just Make Out With Me)”
“God Damn All Your Favourite People”
“Eat Yer Lil Caesars N’ Be Grateful”
“Abscessesame Street”
“[I’ve Listened To More] Titus Andronicus [Than I’ve Read William Shakespeare]”
“God And His Infinite Piss”
“War March Of The Lunar Poo Monsters, Born From The Bags Of Astronaut Faeces Left On The Moon​”

 

Doesn’t English (#017) Apsurd + Riviera + Rata Negra + Teksti-tv 666

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You know I started going through new releases this month and by October 4th I already had three non-english releases in high interest for the monthly Top 5. I thunk it over and decided I would have to dump them all here for the DE this month, cuz at this rate I’ll never narrow down a Top 5. It’s just going to be one of those months, I can tell. Let’s be clear now, every one of these releases is easily Top 5 material for October. Except for maybe Teksti-tv 666 because that was released in September.

If you’re a hardcore head you need to focus your attention on Derealizacija by Apsurd. I’m going bananas about this thing. Serbian hardcore could easily become my new obsession if it all sounds like this. Come to think of it, this is probably staying in the Top 5.

If ruckus Spanish emo is more your thing then zero in on Contrasto by Riviera. This is pretty adventurous stuff. Hard to describe actually. Umm it’s like riding a unicorn naked. You know what that’s like right? Yeah, it’s like that, and guess what.. The unicorn is also naked.

Also from Spain is Rata Negra which means Black Rat. I didn’t even use google to translate that. This is why you guys need to trust every word I say. I clearly know what I’m talking about. Listen to this if you like scratched-raw melodic punk en Espanol.

If you’re looking for something a little more, uh, Scandinavian, then you’re gonna wanna have a listen to Teksti-tv 666 from Finland. Man this thing slaps. Big sound, lots of attitude and that’s about as far as I can go in describing this. Figure it out for yourself.

Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [SEPTEMBER 2018]

guestbed ashtray parablesGuestbed – Ashtray Parables
Ashtray Parables, not to be confused with (but surely inspired by) the Ashtray Monuments of the Jawbreaker persuasion, is the chillest album I’ve heard this year. If every guest-bed was this relaxing I wouldn’t have had so many nightmares about Beetlejuice when I was a kid. Why would I be scared by Beetlejuice you ask? The same reason I was scared by Harry & The Hendersons! Need I say more!!? In truth, this band doesn’t sound anything like Jawbreaker. That’s usually something I would say to express my dislike for something: as in “WTF?!! This soup doesn’t sound like Jawbreaker!” *spits soup on the floor* But in this case, it’s alright, because the tunes here are way cool. Look, I don’t know where you got the idea this blog was going to make sense. Whoever told you that should be locked away somewhere.   Listen on Bandcamp

criminal grossness criminal nicenessCriminal Grossness – Criminal Niceness
This is easily the best thing out of Winnipeg since Burton Cummings’s mustache. Here is a photo for reference. Yeah, exactly. You see what I’m saying now. This is high praise. But with all due respect to Burton’s stash, these guys don’t have time to break it to you gently. This whole EP clocks in at under 10 minutes. I think all these songs are sort of inspired by “I Don’t Wanna Walk Around With You” by the Ramones. They even use that line at the beginning, and the rest of the songs seem to follow the same “Boys rule, girls drool/My girlfriends got me totally bummed out” sort of rhetoric. Which, in today’s climate of feminism, is a risky thing to endorse, but I don’t think these guys mean anything by it. There’s no political statement being made here. It’s just an homage to an oddly specific type of Ramones song. The album art is exquisitely refined by the way. Truly majestic.   Listen on Bandcamp

horror my friend home lifeHorror My Friend – Home Life
I like my Australian indie punk the same way I like my Australian shrubs. Prickly! This album is the musical parallel of riding your bike into a blackberry bush. Did you know that in Australia the blackberry bushes are the preferred habitat of the venomous blackberry bat? It’s true, trust me. You don’t even have to look this up. I’ve done all the research. You come to my blog, you find new bands and you get the cold facts about nature. That’s what they say about The Doesn’t Suck. That’s what they always say.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

имя твоей бывшей НАРИСОВАН ТУТ ЖЕ СТЕРТЫЙимя твоей бывшей – НАРИСОВАН, ТУТ ЖЕ СТЕРТЫЙ
Another excellent band emerges from the Russian fog, like a man in a tracksuit, or a trench coat, or an elderly woman with a head scarf, or a pack of stray dogs.. An elderly woman wearing a tracksuit who has somehow tamed and leashed a pack of stray dogs wearing head scarves! Yes! If that doesn’t put this in perspective for you then I don’t know what the hell your problem is. Wait! A pack of stray elderly ladies wearing trench coats.. You know what, forget it. They’ve dubbed themselves north-east emo, which I think is to say they are not another midwest emo band. Which is a shame because we have so few of those nowadays, but not such a shame afterall, because what these guys are doing is equally, if not even more, rad. It’s so cool when bands from far off places reinvent the wheel so to speak. It’s like emo is potatoes and these guys are making vodka. Oof! It’s a relief to finally have the word “potatoes” on my blog.   Listen on Bandcamp

rockade epRockcade – Self Titled EP
If you grew up in a time when video game graphics were terrible and their theme music was terrific, you are automatically obliged to love this EP. You have no choice in the matter. Nostalgia is a powerful drug and you are defenseless dear friend. Why would you want to fight this anyway? It feels so good. You put this on and you’re transported back to some shaggy-carpeted basement with an old couch and a cat you’re allergic to. Look, if you want to piggyback on my memories you’re going to have to be allergic to cats. That’s just how it was. Dogs too, and almost every one of your friends had one or the other, or both. You had a fairly traumatic childhood. Come to think of it, this music is starting to make it difficult for you to breath. Ugh but it’s so dope.   Listen on Bandcamp

ENDNOTES:
Well, it’s October, AKA Death-Month. If you are one of those people who claim to love the fall, I hope there’s a very special place in hell for you. What is it exactly that you like about it though? The constant rain? The rotting leaves? The smell of salmon spawning? The perpetual grayness of everything, including your very soul? You must be one ray of fucking sunshine to find happiness in such things. I bet you’re a morning person too. I hate you. Hey, by the way, my birthday is in a couple weeks! Please don’t send me any b-day wishes, but please do continue to read my blog. Continue to seek out and discover new bands. Support said bands. Continue being music nerds and continue visiting The Doesn’t Suck: the worlds number one new music resource for weirdos. Have a miserable Halloween. Oh! And don’t forget to check the Scrap Heap for heaps of other great releases from September.

COMPOST (#015) – Burdigala Records

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Straight outa Bordeaux France (home of wine and probably other things too), this is the Bordal Fest compilation. Bordal Fest being some kind of concert series celebrating the partnership between Burdigala Records and something called Picole. I don’t know what any of this means for either party, but I do know it means a pretty sick comp full of squeaky-clean pop punk for our enjoyment. Any one of these bands could be very much at home on Fat Wreck Chords, and no, I don’t mean that as an insult. I see how it could be perceived as one though. All I’m saying is this stuff really appeals to the 15 year old skater-punk in me, and it should appeal to the one in you too. If you don’t have a 15 year old skater-punk in you.. You know what, I’m gonna stop myself right there. Have a nice day folks.

From the DEMONSTRATION DEPARTMENT – Sicayda

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Another demo that’s more of an EP than most of the EP’s I come across. In the spirit of punk rock, I personally think it’s acceptable to put out your first ever recording session, no matter how awful, as an EP with an awesome title. That’s just me. Not everyone feels that way. I get it, but to call something this good a demo, to me just feels so…professional. And if you’ve read my blog, you know professionalism is not something I strive towards, or even condone really. Having said that, this here demo is easily the most dopest thing I’ve heard out of my homeland in months. Oof! These songs sound like when you dump a garbage can full of hockey pucks into a bigger garbage can full of guitars. You know when you do that? And then you figure skate to it? Exactly.