Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [APRIL 2019]

buffet all americanBuffet – All-American [Buy it on Amazon!]
I think these guys are from a town called Anacortes in Washington State, which is kind of cool because you can take a ferry there from Victoria BC. I don’t know if I’ve ever taken it myself (I’ve taken a lot of ferries) but I’ve definitely heard the name Anacortes over the loudspeaker a few thousand times when waiting in ferry line-ups, and for that reason alone, I feel a kindred connection with the town. All these coastal Northwest ferry towns are more or less the same anyway. I know exactly what the deal is in Anacortes, whether I’ve been there or not, and that’s why it comes as no surprise that this here album fecking destroys. I don’t know if they called themselves Buffet because they’re serving up a rad mix of genres that have been sitting around under a heat lamp for a while, but I like to think of it that way. I mean what other reason could there be? These snarky motherfuckers.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

total downer keep on riding that dirt bikeTotal Downer – Keep On Riding That Dirt Bike
I don’t like to include recordings on these lists if all of the songs aren’t available to stream for free, because I want everyone to be able to hear the whole thing. What if someone can’t afford 4 bucks (USD!) for 4 songs? What if that someone is just a kid and doesn’t have a credit card? I mean I’m not a goddamn hippiepunk or anything; I’m just saying most bands put up all the tracks on bandcamp and that’s pretty cool. In spite of all hard feelings, I must say, I’ve made an exception to my rule for the first time. That, in itself, is proof of how rad this band is. Further proof is in the pudding, so to speak, and if this was pudding, it would be banana. Don’t you ever underestimate banana pudding. It tastes kind of like that fluoride stuff the dentist puts in your mouth. In other words, delicious! So yeah, here’s my four fecking dollars you assholes. Go buy yourself a bag of picks. Just for the record, I will gladly pay more money for more music in the future so please continue with the being a band and what have you. UPDATE: Just heard from these guys and the entire album will be available for free streaming on bandcamp in a few weeks when it’s officially released. I guess that makes this a May album then. Feck!   Listen on Bandcamp

slatwallSlatwall – Self-titled
I swear this isn’t a Northwest themed top 5 this month, but shit, game recognize game, as they say. It’s weird to call it the Northwest when you’re on the Canadian side of the border. There was a Vancouver rap group in the 90’s that was always repping the Northwest, which doesn’t make sense because in Canada, this is the Southwest. It should have been “dreaded fist of the southwest” you idiots. That’s always bothered me and this seemed like the most appropriate time to bring it up. Ok we can talk about this album now. Oh my god, can you imagine if I actually talked about the music in these write-ups? LMAO! Eww that would be weird. I will say this though, there’s a song on here called “Illmatic” which ties in nicely with the whole 90’s rap thing right? Damn, this music journalism just comes so naturally to me. By the way, this is not a rap album, but it is lit? Listen on Bandcamp

browned butter thothpasteBrowned Butter – Toothpaste [Buy it on Amazon!]
How dreamy do you like your grunge gaze? Better question: How grungy do you like your dreamgaze? Even better question: How gazy do you like your dream grunge? The answer to all of these questions is “very”, and since you like it like that, I’ve got good news for you in the form of Browned Butter. No, it’s not time to make cookies. Get the hell outa here. It’s time to slump your shoulders and stare at your feet. How many shoes do you gaze when you grunge dream? How many shoes do you have? Two. There’s your answer. Always keep your eyes on your own shoes. Can you imagine if people went to shoegaze shows and started staring at other people’s shoes? Pffwhaaa! Anarchy! I think I have made my point here.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

the hitmakers presenceThe Hitmakers – Presence
When these guys read this they’ll be expecting the inevitable Jawbreaker comparison. I know they will, and I’m sorry, but as a highly professional and serious music journalist, it would be goddamn impossible not to bring it up. I mean if Blake’s vocal chords ever get fried again, this guy could take over and no one would know the difference. Everything I’m saying right now is a supreme compliment incidentally. I don’t talk about it a lot (yes I do), but I am 1000% subscribed to the idea that Jawbreaker is the most perfect band of all time, so if I can get more Jawbreaker in the form of an entirely different band, I am there. The more Jawbreaker the better. Especially when they’re this fecking good at it. I mean the lyrics are even Schwarzenbach-like. I’d like to apologize to The Hitmakers for making this mainly a Jawbreaker praise-fest. I saw no other way of going about it. Please continue being my backup Jawbreaker band. I love you.   Listen on Bandcamp

ENDNOTES: This has been a hell of a month for new releases. It took longer than usual to settle on the top 5, but I think I’ve made the right decisions here. You can be the judge of that though. Please do peruse my SCRAP HEAP to hear all the other incredible releases that piqued my interest this April. Please support your favourite bands and blogs and mom & pop’s pizza joints. Tell all your friends this is your favourite resource for new music and the best place to find bands you’ve never heard of. Please write me a letter if you should feel so inclined (I’ll post it!), and tell me what’s up in your part of the world. My part of the world, at the moment is getting greener, and warmer, and the alleys are getting smellier. I love this time of year. Anyway, bye.

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