Doesn’t English (#016) – побег

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I have no idea what this band is even called. In their bandcamp URL they’re called Pobeg but on the bandcamp page itself they’re called побег. If that doesn’t confuse you enough, the name on the album art appears to be Jiosez. Typical Russian confusion tactics am I right? Pobeg, I think, is the english alphabet spelling of побег, which means “the escape”. Don’t quote me on any of this please. I’m very confused (in general but also about this band). At least there’s no confusion about how freakin’ rad this release is. If I were to transcribe this into colours, the lyrics would be grey or brown and the music itself would be purple with sharp bursts of pink and red. What, you don’t hear colours? I hear the rainbow y’all. This is so good. Track 2, oof! I love it so much.

Doesn’t English (#015) – Bonjour Machines

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Whoever said mathy emo doesn’t sound good in Hebrew was a liar! What? Nobody ever said that? Well they better not have, otherwise they’re going to feel pretty stupid when they listen to this. Holy crap! Straight out of Tel Aviv Israel (home of arid weather) this is Bonjour Machines, which I can translate for you because I speak French. It means “Hello Machines”! Are they saying hello to the machines or are they, themselves, machines that say “hello”? That is the quandary that is this band. If you dare to attempt this riddle you will first need to subject yourself to an ear-pummeling of rad tunes with extra chutzpah! Either I’m adorably ignorant or I’ve just offended an entire nation. It’s a risk I often find myself having to take. Anyhow, this is a fairly unsucky album.

 

Doesn’t English (#014) – Pekopon

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First thing that comes to mind when you hear “Fukushima”… Disaster? Tsunami? Nuclear meltdown? You know, it must be weird having your homeland forever associated with something tragic and awful *insert Trump jokes here*. Maybe now we can associate Fukushima with this noisy-ass indie rock instead. Pekopon (not to be confused with ‘Pekopen’ which, as I understand it, is some kind of racial slur) is more than just a noisy band. It’s also what the Keron soldiers call Earth in the anime Keroro Gunso. I’m just learning about this now so maybe I’m getting this all wrong. Something about a space frog who does chores for humans. What is the connection between Pekopon the planet and Pekopon the band? Why is the frog doing chores for these people? What in the hell is a kero ball!? I have so many questions.

Doesn’t English (#013) – Noizu

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Two things from Santiago that are very refreshing: Mote con huesillo and a band called Noizu. One has more peaches than the other. Hey, If you happen to be in Seattle, or rural Illinois this month, you would be remiss to not catch this band while they’re in the US. Those are the only two places they’re playing that I’m aware of. What’s going on in Chillicothe IL that would make it a likely host to one of two shows by a touring dreamgaze band from Chile? I was curious too, so I looked it up and I guess there’s a festival called Summer Camp happening there. Sounds like a good time, and if you live in that area you should consider the following very carefully: When you go to The Summer Camp Festival you will also be treated to the contemporary melodies of bands like Cypress Hill and Slightly Stoopid. You know ska punk is still very much alive, despite what you might read on my twitter. During your visit you will also experience something called Liquid Stranger! In addition to that, there’s a band called Leftover Salmon, and another one called Organ Freeman! I would definitely try to avoid both of those. Look, maybe you’re just better off driving to Seattle to see this band.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I just heard from Noizu, and sadly for you rural Illinois people and Seattleites, Noizu, the awesome Chilean dreamgaze band, will not be playing in your areas. It is a different Noizu, a DJ or something. My bad. I hope you didn’t buy your Summer Camp tickets already.

Doesn’t English (#012) – Rissau

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Shoegaze is kind of a polarizing genre isn’t it? I’ve seen friendships destroyed! Most people have strong feelings about it. Some love it, the rest hate it. I’m on the love train myself, and this here record is a perfect example as to why. If anyone were actually on the fence about such music, I would recommend this in hopes of winning them over. The great thing about shoegaze is, the lyrics aren’t necessarily meant to be construed upon listening. Half the time the vocals are completely lost in the swamp anyway. It really wouldn’t make a difference if they were in English or, I don’t know, Indonesian or something. Hey, speaking of Indonesia, that’s where these guys are from, and also sticky soy sauce! Both are great with fried rice. Why are you still hung up on the fact that I said “love train”. Can’t we get past that?

Doesn’t English (#011) – Rey De La Calle

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I’m trying to make my Doesn’t English posts as varied as possible, but I just keep finding kick ass Spanish-speaking punk bands. Gees! Anyway, let me ask you this: When you’re down and out in Acapulco (home of Rose Marie and drunk bros on spring break) and all you have is your skateboard, what do you do? You start smashing bros with your skateboard! Wait no, you shouldn’t do that. Start a pop punk band instead like, Rey De La Calle (King Of The Street). Then use said band to make super fun music about what a bummer life is for a skater-punk in a tourist town. Actually I think most of this EP is about lost love, but whatever, there’s some stuff about skateboarding in there somewhere. Who cares? You probably don’t even understand Spanish. Oh, you do? Well pardon me.

Doesn’t English (#010) – Tentáculo

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Straight outa the gazpacho soaked streets of Seville Spain (Home of Diego Valazquez and marinated dogfish), here you have Tentáculo. That translates to Tentacle. As in “Oh shit, you got him right by the tentacles!” said the friend of the octopus fisherman. Pretty solid rock ‘n’ roll punk going on here, with relevant lyrics too. Lot’s of spirit coming from these guys. They call themselves the dogs of Triana, which is a neighborhood in Seville. Not to be confused with the actual dogs of Triana which are probably mostly harmless, Tentáculo is, at the very least, going to growl at you until you pee your pants. Whatever you do, don’t turn and run. Try slam dancing instead.

Doesn’t English (#009) – Lügen

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Did Germany invent Post-Punk? I feel like it’s a super German type of music. It sounds so natural in that language. Emerging from the Goulash-ridden streets of Dortmund Germany (Home of the Juicy Beats music festival) this is Lügen (Lie). A barrage of black turtle-necks and even blacker lyrics. This feels like really serious music. The lyrics are no joke. Holy crap it rips though. Lots of unhappy energy here. If you’re in a really good mood and you’re just goddamn sick of it, these guys can probably help you out. The whole process is gonna sound amazing too. Don’t listen to this while you’re walking in the rain or you might end up punching someone in the back of the head.

Doesn’t English (#008) – Demasiada Presión

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Desmasiada Presion (Too Much Pressure) have been at it for a while now, kickin’ up dust and rock ‘n’ roll pop punk from the streets of Comodoro Rivadavia, Argentina. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, it is the same Comodoro Rivadavia where the Museum of Petroleum is located. I don’t know, I can’t really find much information on these guys. They appear to be car enthusiasts, but as far as I can tell, none of their songs are about cars. Oh well. If you’re in Patagonia, check them out. They seem fun. I have to go because the way I’m writing right now makes me wanna barf.

Bye.

Doesn’t English (#007) – Juan Cirerol

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Hailing from Mexicali Mexico (Home of, umm, hot weather, and right across the border from Calexico USA. Isn’t that cute? You know, in my province, there’s a lake that spans the border between Canada and the US called Lake Koocanusa. It’s a mash up of Kootney/Canada/USA. I’m full of fun geographical facts like this) Juan Cirerol has been hammering out the tunes for a while now. Over 200 of them apparently. I’m willing to bet they’re all as enjoyable as this collection. He’s like all of your favourite old-timey country/folk singers, but en Español and maybe with a bit more attitude. I’m sure Mexico has it’s own storied history of country/folk stuff, but I’m not going to pretend I know anything about that, so yeah.. Just imagine Woody Guthrie or Bob Dylan in Spanish. I’ve been listening to this all week at work within earshot of my lovely Peruvian co-worker, so I really hope the lyrics are SFW, cuz I honestly have no idea. Oh god, what if this is Anti-Peruvian music?