Doesn’t English (#022) – Honda SS

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When it comes to motorcycles, the Honda SS was maybe about as basic as it gets and this band is basically kicking your ass. You know as far as opening lines go that is basically the best I can do, and honestly, as bad as it was, it still sounds a little too professional for me. Anyway, whatever man. This album slaps the ham for real. Melodic streetcore right outa the flaky spanakopita lined gutters of Greece. I wasn’t able to find out which city or town exactly but then again my research is also flaky. That’s a weird word eh, flaky? Da hell is that? Look, here’s what you do. Cuddle up on the couch with a bowl and tzatziki and put on track 3, Ζήτω Η Ελλάς (Long Live Greece). It might be a sarcastic “long live Greece” though, so don’t go playing it for your Greek friends thinking it’s all national pride and what have you. That might be a mistake, depending on who these friends are. Where did you meet them anyway? Can I be friends with them too? And by friends I mean a one-sided arrangement where they make food for me, I eat said food, and they get nothing in return.

Doesn’t English (#021) – La Nelson Olveira

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Straight outta Sauce (not to be confused with salsa) it’s La Nelson Olveira, which (if you’ll allow me to translate for you) is Spanish for The Nelson Olveira. That’s a Uruguayan soccer player and he’s not very well-liked I guess? Anyway, the important thing is, these guys are from a town called Sauce (just outside Montivideo) and I love sauce. Condiments in general are an obsession of mine. Some would say I have a condiment problem. Hot sauce is my sauce of choice but I’ll take anything I can get. In my opinion, a meal is not fully prepared until you dump something out of a bottle on to it. By the way this is a great little EP of punky tonk rock ’n’ roll with cool vocals. It’s catchy as all hell, and it’s for a good cause, or so they claim. Something about this being a fundraiser to get their friend out of New Zealand jail for killing a Koala. I don’t know if that’s meant to be taken seriously but who cares? There’s a Spanish cover of “Creep” on here with a lead in of someone takin’ a wazz. Pretty damn cool if you ask me.

Doesn’t English (#020) – Bombas De Amor

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If you like The New York Dolls but you’re pissed off that none of their songs are in Spanish, I’ve got good news for you: There is a band in Buenos Aires called Bombas De Amor (Love Bombs) and they’re seriously doing justice to that sweet sweet proto-punk’n’roll sound you’ve been longing for. This is good for the soul, and also promotes hair growth. Where the hair is going to grow is a total crapshoot though. Seriously all of the hair growth happens in and around your crapshoot. It’s worth it still. Hmmm, contemplating whether I should re-write this without the whole crapshoot thing. Nah, I think we’re good. Rock on!

Doesn’t English (#019) – Asperger

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I base my want-to-travel-to destinations mainly on food, and that’s why Turkey is close to the top of my list. And no, I’m not under the impression that they eat a lot of turkey there. Come on, you know I’m not stupid right? (please say yes). Turkey is overrated anyway. The food that is. I mean it’s cool. It’s just not THAT great ya know? It’s good, it’s fine, it’s turkey, but I will take Turkish food, any day, over turkey the food. Was that confusing? This is not a food blog by the way. Here’s a sick pop punk record out of Istanbul. Home of delicious treats such as karnıyarık, lahmacun,  and akçaabat meatballs. Oh, and punk rock too. Turkey the food: It’s good, it’s fine, it’s turkey.

Doesn’t English (#018) – Hostil

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Shout out to Ysabel, the quiet Peruvian lady I work with and whom I torment with aggressive punk rock on a daily basis. Oddly enough, even after I mentioned to her that this band is from her homeland, she still didn’t find it very appealing. Did you guys know there are Japanese people in Peru? Ysabel is Japanese and Peruvian and she speaks both languages. She’s been teaching me Spanish, but you don’t need to know any Spanish at all to enjoy this here album. You don’t need to understand lyrics in order to appreciate the delivery. Sometimes it’s probably better if you don’t understand them. *Ever hear a really incredible English-speaking band and slowly realize the lyrics are contrived as all hell and you can’t bare to listen to it even though it rocks? Well you won’t have that problem if you can’t understand the lyrics will you? I know there’s just way too much music out there to keep up with nowadays, but you HAVE TO make your ears available to non-English bands. There are just too many good ones to pass up. Hostil, for example. I wish Ysabel would take me to Lima and go to one of their shows with me. She’s the perfect size for crowd surfing.

*If you’ve never had this problem, you suck at listening to music. 

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Doesn’t English (#017) Apsurd + Riviera + Rata Negra + Teksti-tv 666

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You know I started going through new releases this month and by October 4th I already had three non-english releases in high interest for the monthly Top 5. I thunk it over and decided I would have to dump them all here for the DE this month, cuz at this rate I’ll never narrow down a Top 5. It’s just going to be one of those months, I can tell. Let’s be clear now, every one of these releases is easily Top 5 material for October. Except for maybe Teksti-tv 666 because that was released in September.

If you’re a hardcore head you need to focus your attention on Derealizacija by Apsurd. I’m going bananas about this thing. Serbian hardcore could easily become my new obsession if it all sounds like this. Come to think of it, this is probably staying in the Top 5.

If ruckus Italian emo is more your thing then zero in on Contrasto by Riviera. This is pretty adventurous stuff. Hard to describe actually. Umm it’s like riding a unicorn naked. You know what that’s like right? Yeah, it’s like that, and guess what.. The unicorn is also naked.

Also from Spain is Rata Negra which means Black Rat. I didn’t even use google to translate that. This is why you guys need to trust every word I say. I clearly know what I’m talking about. Listen to this if you like scratched-raw melodic punk en Espanol.

If you’re looking for something a little more, uh, Scandinavian, then you’re gonna wanna have a listen to Teksti-tv 666 from Finland. Man this thing slaps. Big sound, lots of attitude and that’s about as far as I can go in describing this. Figure it out for yourself.

Doesn’t English (#016) – побег

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I have no idea what this band is even called. In their bandcamp URL they’re called Pobeg but on the bandcamp page itself they’re called побег. If that doesn’t confuse you enough, the name on the album art appears to be Jiosez. Typical Russian confusion tactics am I right? Pobeg, I think, is the english alphabet spelling of побег, which means “the escape”. Don’t quote me on any of this please. I’m very confused (in general but also about this band). At least there’s no confusion about how freakin’ rad this release is. If I were to transcribe this into colours, the lyrics would be grey or brown and the music itself would be purple with sharp bursts of pink and red. What, you don’t hear colours? I hear the rainbow y’all. This is so good. Track 2, oof! I love it so much.

Doesn’t English (#015) – Bonjour Machines

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Whoever said mathy emo doesn’t sound good in Hebrew was a liar! What? Nobody ever said that? Well they better not have, otherwise they’re going to feel pretty stupid when they listen to this. Holy crap! Straight out of Tel Aviv Israel (home of arid weather) this is Bonjour Machines, which I can translate for you because I speak French. It means “Hello Machines”! Are they saying hello to the machines or are they, themselves, machines that say “hello”? That is the quandary that is this band. If you dare to attempt this riddle you will first need to subject yourself to an ear-pummeling of rad tunes with extra chutzpah! Either I’m adorably ignorant or I’ve just offended an entire nation. It’s a risk I often find myself having to take. Anyhow, this is a fairly unsucky album.

 

Doesn’t English (#014) – Pekopon

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First thing that comes to mind when you hear “Fukushima”… Disaster? Tsunami? Nuclear meltdown? You know, it must be weird having your homeland forever associated with something tragic and awful *insert Trump jokes here*. Maybe now we can associate Fukushima with this noisy-ass indie rock instead. Pekopon (not to be confused with ‘Pekopen’ which, as I understand it, is some kind of racial slur) is more than just a noisy band. It’s also what the Keron soldiers call Earth in the anime Keroro Gunso. I’m just learning about this now so maybe I’m getting this all wrong. Something about a space frog who does chores for humans. What is the connection between Pekopon the planet and Pekopon the band? Why is the frog doing chores for these people? What in the hell is a kero ball!? I have so many questions.

Doesn’t English (#013) – Noizu

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Two things from Santiago that are very refreshing: Mote con huesillo and a band called Noizu. One has more peaches than the other. Hey, If you happen to be in Seattle, or rural Illinois this month, you would be remiss to not catch this band while they’re in the US. Those are the only two places they’re playing that I’m aware of. What’s going on in Chillicothe IL that would make it a likely host to one of two shows by a touring dreamgaze band from Chile? I was curious too, so I looked it up and I guess there’s a festival called Summer Camp happening there. Sounds like a good time, and if you live in that area you should consider the following very carefully: When you go to The Summer Camp Festival you will also be treated to the contemporary melodies of bands like Cypress Hill and Slightly Stoopid. You know ska punk is still very much alive, despite what you might read on my twitter. During your visit you will also experience something called Liquid Stranger! In addition to that, there’s a band called Leftover Salmon, and another one called Organ Freeman! I would definitely try to avoid both of those. Look, maybe you’re just better off driving to Seattle to see this band.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I just heard from Noizu, and sadly for you rural Illinois people and Seattleites, Noizu, the awesome Chilean dreamgaze band, will not be playing in your areas. It is a different Noizu, a DJ or something. My bad. I hope you didn’t buy your Summer Camp tickets already.