Top 10 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [JUNE 2020]

might die self titled

Might Die – Self Titled
(pop-punk) (emo)
🇺🇸San Antonio, Texas

cutters self titled


Cutters – Self Titled
(hardcore) (punk)
🇦🇺Melbourne, AUS

old moon past lives


Old Moon – Past Lives
(post-punk) (shoegaze)
🇺🇸Lyme, New Hampshire

peixe frito cosmos sessions


Peixe Frito – Cosmos Sessions
(noise-rock) (punk)
🇧🇷RN, Brazil

dumb chunks please


Dumb Chunks – Please
(psych-punk) (indie-rock)
🇺🇸De Kalb, Illinois

t-birds self titled


T Birds – Self Titled
(ramonescore) (pop-punk)
🇺🇸The South?

sid eargle lions den


Sid Eargle – Lion’s Den
(punk rock) (garage-punk)
🇺🇸South Carolina

dorian music to save your life


Dorian – Music To Save Your Life
(indie-punk) (emo)
🇺🇸New Mexico/Colarado

credit six songs live in brookland


Credit – Live In Brookland
(indie-punk) (post-punk)
🇺🇸Baltimore, Maryland

five day morning sky hold me tight


Five Day Morning – Sky Hold Me Tight
(noise-pop) (shoegaze)
🇨🇦Edmonton, Alberta

Some big-ass releases dropped this month. Everyone was expecting Coriky, no one was expecting the new Hum though! Dang, both albums are pretty rad, Phoebe Bridgers too, but unfortunately none are eligible for the DS top ten. This is because I decided a while back (without informing anyone) that I won’t be including major releases on these lists. How do I define “major” you ask? Well that’s my business isn’t it? Do you see me getting all in your business? Coriky actually would otherwise have qualified if it weren’t for all the anticipation leading up to that album, and Mr. MacKaye’s involvement. Those two factors make it a major release in my opinion, but trust me, there is no rhyme or reason to this. It’s entirely based on my ever-changing disposition.

Coriky is such a stupid band name too isn’t it? I don’t care why they’re called that. Maybe there’s a cool story behind it. I don’t care. It feels like shit in my mouth. I hate saying it and I hate reading it.

I shouldn’t be writing this on a Monday. Mondays just make me hate everything.


Ok it’s Tuesday now, and I’m in a much better mood. This Tuesday feels like a Friday because tomorrow is a holiday here in Canada. I’m not looking forward to Thursday/Monday though! Two Mondays in one week! Are you kidding me? That’s right July 1st is our nations birthday, otherwise known as Canada Day, which may sound stupid, but at least we didn’t name it after the actual date on the calendar. Lookin’ at you America. It’s not a competition though. Infact, if you’ll allow me to get political for just one moment: Nationalism is disgusting and no one should be celebrating colonization and divisive ideas like, you know, countries.

Moving on!


Checking in again. It’s Friday now. It’s been a weird week ok. I’m behind on everything.

Digression!

We’ve got another killer top ten lined up for you. The month started up a bit slow but once she got goin’ boy she really got goin’, you know what I’m sayin’? Hm?! Just listen and you’ll find out. I can’t get over how many killer bands keep coming out of the woodwork, even in times of crisis. Some of these albums are the kind of albums that really re-ignite my passion for whatever it is I’m doing here.

If you like this stuff you should definitely dig into the SCRAP HEAP too. I’m sure you’ll find even more sicc joints in there. Also if you have opinions of your own, don’t hesitate to hit me up and I’ll share your thoughts on the site. Unless your thoughts are shitty. No shitty thoughts ok. If you’re new here, take a look around. There’s lots to discover. I have stickers too! So buy one. Shipping is free!

Yeah bye,

Top 10 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [MAY 2020]

sham marriage self titled

Sham Marriage – Self Titled
(post-hardcore) (shoegaze)
🇬🇧Perth, UK

gatsu inner struggle


Gatsu – Inner Struggle
(hardcore) (punk)
🇨🇱Santiago, Chile

shadow creeps odd future catalog


Shadow Creeps – Odd Future Catalog
(punk rock) (garage-punk)
🇺🇸Albuquerque, NM

sans lorenzo guilt


Sans Lorenzo – Guilt
(emo) (post-punk)
🇺🇸Lombard, IL

hound die to live


Hound – Die To Live
(punk rock) (pop-punk)
🇨🇦Vallican, BC

karoshi life is a killer


Karōshi – Life Is A Killer
(indie-punk) (punk)
🇺🇸Seattle, WA

tumbas dolor


Tumbas – Dolor
(post-punk) (dark-punk)
🇨🇴Bogotá, Colombia

rotura self titled


Rotura – Self Titled
(punk rock) (anarcho)
🇪🇸Barcelona – Spain

without 3 years memory


Without – Three Years Memory
(pop-punk) (emo)
🇯🇵Yokohama, Japan

block parent frank dux split


Block Parent/Frank Dux – Split
(pop-punk) (skate-punk)
🇨🇦Cambridge, ON

It’s only June you guys. At this pace we’re on course for, well, maybe a total global implosion by decade’s end? When it comes to music though, it’s a different trend. Rather than imploding, things are exploding as far as rad bands and what have you. You like how I did that implode/explode thing? It’s almost like I’m wasting my talents on this stupid website. Clearly I should be writing epic feats of literature along the lines of War And Peace or Infinite Jest. Could I really turn my back on all four of the people who read this website? Ha, no I don’t think so. Anyone can write a 1000 page novel, but who’s going to spend all this time listening to shitty music and then (in an act of what can only be described as philanthropy) inform the readers as to which albums they should be listening to in my very skewed and under-qualified opinion? I don’t see Tolstoy pulling any shit like that? Fuckin’bum.

This month has been another challenge for me having to narrow down a top ten. I say this all the time but please do yourself a huge favor and check out the SCRAP HEAP for all the bands that piqued my interest this month. If you liked any of the bands in this top ten, I guarantee you will find more of what you like in the old heap there. *spits*

Anyway, be cool everyone. Stay safe. Stay strong. Never trust a cop. Never BE a cop and always fight the good fight. Yeah bye. Oh wait! I forgot! I have stickers now. BUY ONE if you want.

Top 10 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [APRIL 2020]

fossil arm in bad decline

Fossil Arm – In Bad Decline
(post-hardcore) (post-punk)
🇺🇸Austin, Texas

mutant love revolution redacted part one


Mutant Love – Revolution Redacted Pt.1
(indie-punk) (pop-punk)
🇺🇸College Station, Texas

gvlls ep 2020


Gvlls – EP 2020
(post-punk) (garage-wave)
🇩🇪Münster, Germany

permanent residue self titled


Permanent Residue – Self Titled
(garage-punk) (punk rock)
🇺🇸Chicago, Illinois

cheap horse excellent adventure


Cheap Horse – Excellent Adventure
(garage-wave) (noise-pop)
🇺🇸Santa Cruz, California

peach self titled


Peach – Self Titled
(post-hardcore) (shoegaze)
🇺🇸De Kalb, Illinois

deaf lingo double not cantine sbuccia split


Deaf Lingo/Double Not – Split
(skate-punk) (punk rock)
🇮🇹Milan, Italy

vaguess guest list to heaven


Vaguess – Guest List To Heaven
(indie-punk) (garage-punk)
🇺🇸Costa Mesa, California

sandbox mccline sooner or later


Sandbox McCline – Sooner Or Later
(indie-rock) (indie-punk)
🇺🇸Mansfield, Ohio

bit of teenage wasteland


Bit Of – Teenage Wasteland
(pop-punk) (ramonescore)
🇪🇸Madrid, Spain

Hello loyal reader (singular). Yep it’s just you and me pal. You’re the only one who reads this, which reminds me: umm what is wrong with you?

Anyways, you’ve probably noticed that the layout for the top ten has changed, yet again. Well how do you like it? Not bad huh? Especially considering I haven’t a single clue how to do the internet. I’m pretty sure it’s going to stay like this from now on. Unless by next moth I can’t remember how I did it, and that’s actually a real concern for me. This is really complicated shit guys. I mean guy.

Moving on!

April has been, for me personally, maybe the most impressive month of new music I’ve seen since I started this blog exactly 3 years ago. (Yes that’s right, it’s the 3 year anniversary. Thanks for remembering!) I had nearly 30 albums this month that I wanted to put in the top ten. It was really difficult to narrow it down to this group and I’m not sure if I made the right decisions so, please please please have a look through the SCRAP HEAP. There is a shit-heap of incredible releases in there that deserve to be heard. I’ll also do my best to get them posted on my twitter account @SteveDoesnt.

The way things are going, I’m thinking May will be another monster month, but now that I said that, it probably wont be so fuck May! Seriously though, there is a lot of music being made right now. Maybe more than ever before, given the fact that this is the first time the world has been quarantined with the ability to record music at home. These are truly unparalleled times. Someday we’ll look back on this and be like “man that was so covid”. It’s my belief that in the future the word “covid” will become and adjective.

Yeah bye.

Top 10 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [MARCH 2020]

conditioner low point

Conditioner – Low Point
(indie-punk) (pop-punk)
St. Johns, Newfoundland 🇨🇦

in a dream


СИЯНИЕ – Во сне / In A Dream
(shoegaze) (dreampop)
St. Petersberg, Russia 🇷🇺

the yaupon holly self titled


The Yaupon Holly – Self Titled
(post-hardcore) (screamo)
Gainesville, Florida 🇺🇸

new pagans glacial erratic


New Pagans – Glacial Erratic
(indie-rock) (dream-pop)
Belfast, UK 🇬🇧

inny the strigil


Inny – The Strigil
(indie-punk) (grunge)
Portland, Oregon 🇺🇸

thick 5 years behind


THICK – 5 Years Behind
(garage-punk) (indie-rock)
Brooklyn, NY🇺🇸

document a camera wanders all night


Document – A Camera Wanders All Night
(post-punk) (darkwave)
Manchester, UK 🇬🇧

birches II


Birches – II
(indie-punk) (pop-punk)
Chicago, Illinois 🇺🇸

las ratapunks fracaso ano de la rata


Las Ratapunks – Fracaso Año De La Rata
(punk) (punk-rock)
Cajamarca, Peru 🇵🇪

Dirty Limbs - 2


Dirty Limbs – Demolition 2
(garage-punk) (powerpop)
Fresno, California 🇺🇸

It’s the Monthly Top Ten Lockdown Edition! My how things can change over the course of one month. I will say this though: the number of new releases each week has nearly doubled! I mean cuz what else are you gonna do right, other than record an album in your closet? There’s been a lot of that in the past few weeks. Most of it, in a word, bad! Some of it, in another word, ungood. Keep up the ungood work people. It’s taking me twice as long to sift through your nonsense, but in the end, here we are with another amazing 10 releases to yank your socks off.

Hmm let’s see, what else do I have to report? Uhh well my houseplants are getting a little more water these days. My TV is working fine. The view outside my window is still there. Umm my hair is growing, my books are getting read. That’s about it I guess. How bout you? Oh, the same? Cool! We suck! This whole place sucks! Oh well.

I guess since you’ve got so much time on your hands you can finally get caught up on all the rad bands on The Doesn’t Suck. If you really start digging you could get stuck in here for a month at least. You’ll look up from your computer and you wont recognize your wife. (If you understand that reference you are reading the right blog).

Another way to pass the time is to join The Doesn’t Suck Facebook Group, where myself and a bunch of like-minded weirdos are always talking about music and what’s in our fridges and stuff. We’re bored ok! There are a lot of fun conversations happening via my twitter account too so follow me there if you please @SteveDoesnt

One more thing: If you have a cool story to tell about that moment when a band or an album changed your life, please send it to me at doesntsuck604@gmail.com and I’ll post it in the TRAJECTORIES section. Btw please read the TRAJECTORIES I’ve already posted so you have an idea of what I’m talking about, and I’m sorry, but if you send me an email about how some shitty-ass classic rock band, like Led Zepplin or something, changed your life, I’m going to have to reply with a very polite rejection email.

Alright well stay safe friends. Wash your hands. Bye.

Top 10 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [FEBRUARY 2020]

street sity surf where i live now

Street Sity Surf – Where I Live Now
(post-punk) (garage-punk)
Portland, Maine 🇺🇸

мало


Мало – меня никогда здесь не было
(melodic-hardcore) (emo)
Moscow, Russia 🇷🇺

deaf chonky harsh


Deaf Chonky – Harsh
(post-punk) (garage-punk)
Tel Aviv Yafo, Israel 🇮🇱

поймаюнакажу


поймаю/накажу – до дна
(post-hardcore) (emocore)
Moscow, Russia 🇷🇺

pound puppies ep


Pound Puppies – Self Titled
(new wave) (synth-wave)
San Francisco, California 🇺🇸

decay non cambiera


Decacy – Non Cambierà
(screamo) (hardcore)
Vicenza, Italy 🇮🇱

the mega yeah


The Mega Yeah – Tape Swap Radio
(indie-punk) (pop-punk)
Nazareth, Pennsylvania 🇺🇸

high wasted genes muscle beach


High Wasted Genes – Muscle Beach
(punk rock) (pop-punk)
London, UK 🇬🇧

fibber self titled


Fibber – Selt Titled
(punk) (hardcore)
Santa Fe – New Mexico 🇺🇸

the pseudo feds powdertail


The Pseudo Feds – Powdertail
(punk) (indie-punk)
Green Bay, Wisconsin 🇺🇸

Holy hell this has been a month. I discovered so many great albums in February, I was wondering if I would have to make this a top twenty. It was no easy task whittling it down to this powerhouse ten right here. Yeah I said powerhouse, as in: an installation where electrical power is generated for distribution. I’m not saying this top ten is going to charge your phone or anything, but what I am saying is that it probably is putting off radiation. If you’re using a lap top, do not place it directly on your lap.

Don’t forget to check out the SCRAP HEAP to see a shyte-load more great releases from February! I like to say “shyte” now. I’ve been watching this Irish show on Netflix called Hardy Bucks. Every time I watch it I’m reminded of how pittifully boring our way of speaking is here on the west coast on North America. There’s absolutely nothing interesting about it. Utter shyte I tell you.

What else is going on this month? Well since you asked, I did start a Facebook Group. There’s already been a lot of fun conversations happening and there’s bound to be many more. We’ve got a lot of awesome members who don’t suck at listening to music. I will pretty much add anyone who sends a request at this point so g’head and join up. If you’re not on Facebook, good for you. Seriously, Facebook is shyte. I wish The DS could be it’s own self-contained online community. Don’t you? Well.. here’s hoping.

I also started a new feature called TRAJECTORIES: Reflecting On The Moments When Music Changed Our Lives. I took the liberty of writing the first entry, but we have other entries from other weirdos lined up. I love hearing stories about how people got into punk, or underground music, so that’s pretty much what it’s about. I want to hear from anyone and everyone who has an interesting story on that subject. Please write to me at doesntsuck604@gmail.com . Yeah bye.

Top 10 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [JANUARY 2020]

shopvac self titled

Shopvac – Self Titled
(indie-punk) (noise-pop)
Toronto, Ontario 🇨🇦

wig swell


Wig – Swell
(post-hardcore) (post-punk)
Chicago, Illinois 🇺🇸

frat mouse rat pack


Frat Mouse – Rat Pack
(indie-punk) (emo)
Los Angeles, California 🇺🇸

con art self titled


Con Art – Self Titled
(punk) (post-punk)
Perth, Australia 🇦🇺

foreigner self titled


Foreigner – Self Titled
(hardcore) (punk)
Livinallongo Del Col Di Lana, Italy 🇮🇹

sekunderna paradiset


Sekunderna – Paradiset
(punk) (pop-punk)
Umeå, Sweden 🇸🇪

focus group theories


Focus Group – Theories
(punk) (post-punk)
Melbourne, Australia 🇦🇺

bugarach la montagne du riff


Bugarach – La Montagne Du Riff
(punk rock) (garage punk)
Paris, France 🇫🇷

modern love ensomhet vet


Modern Love – Ensomhet Vet
(indie-punk) (post-punk)
Oslo, Norway 🇳🇴

slave punk police


Slave – Punk Police
(hardcore) (punk)
Pahang, Malaysia 🇲🇾

As you can see, the top five looks a bit different this month. For starters, it’s not a top five anymore. Also there’s less rambling by me, which I’m sure comes as a major disappointment for many of you, given my unique ability to write with such grace and polish. Like literary Beehtoven as that one very important person once described it. The good news is, I’ve got more music for you and if you happen to have the same taste as me, you’re going to like all of it.

I’m trying to re-imagine the site more as an expansive resource for new punk/punk-adjacent music and less of a soap box for my asinine rantings. Or maybe not. I don’t know actually. I like to write but I get sick of my own writing, so I’m just going to shut up for now and possibly continue with the brain spew some other time.

There’s a ton of good stuff in the top ten this month but don’t forget to check out the SCRAP HEAP too. Maybe you’ll find something you think should have been in the top ten, and you’ll write me an email, about it and I’ll post it on the blog and maybe threaten to beat you up a little bit. Yeah bye.

Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [NOVEMBER 2019]

chain clut shallow graveChain Cult – Shallow Grave
When this album first starts, I’m thinking “ooo hell yeah this is gonna be some choice new wave shit” but it almost immediately gets more punky and aggressive. They still sound like they should be from the 80’s though. Like some dark mid-tempo rockin’ post punk, hold the angles, add singalongableness. They’re from Athens Greece and I’ve never been, but I imagine this would be a great soundtrack for a walk through some of the seedier sections. Maybe fuck around and get yourself mugged or something. You know, see the sights. Just lay there bludgeoned and violated, barely conscious with this blaring in your headphones. It’s a dream getaway.  Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

flagpolers bar tape splitFlagpolers/Bar Tape – Split
This gets a little bit complicated actually. It’s a split and for some reason neither band has the other bands songs on their page, so you have to visit both pages to hear both sides. I guess just follow the links here to the Flagpolers page and then use the search bar to look up Bar Tape. It’s worth the effort. Both sides of this split are rather unsucky. If you’re not reading this and you just come here to click the links and skip past my brilliant literature.. well then you’re probably missing out on half of a great album. Unless you’re smart enough to figure it out yourself, wait, why am I still talking to you when you’re not even reading this? I was recently enlightened to the term “orgcore” which you’ll have to look up because it’s origins are too stupid to discuss on this, such a serious blog. That being said, now I keep wanting to use it to describe bands like this. I hope I don’t make a habit of it.  Listen on Bandcamp

marmol sokatiraMármol – Sokatira
What a great little EP for the holidays. I’m pretty sure none of these songs are about Christmas though. Then again, maybe they are. How the hell would I know? What, you want me to sit here and translate every lyric? Don’t be ridiculous. You know what, you can leave. Oh wait, you’re the only one reading this? Stop! Come back! I’m sorry! Please keep reading. You won’t be disappointed. Ok maybe there’s a 50/50 chance of disappointment. That’s not bad actually. Hey, I’ll tell you what though: This album has no chance at all of disappointing you. This is just four solid-as-can-be punk songs for any occasion. You could even listen to this while riding a horse on the beach. You can even listen to this if you’re the horse being ridden. This might even speak more deeply to the horse since it’s obviously going through some things. Well well well, look who’s not disappointed.  Listen on Bandcamp

upset self titledUpset – Self Titled
I don’t know if it’s intentional but there are a lot of Jawbreaker nods on here. I mean it might just be in my head because, lets face it, my head is 90% Jawbreaker lyrics (trust me, you don’t want to know what the other 10% is), but I’m pretty sure track 4 “Lucky Strikes Out” is a tribute to “Chesterfield King” and beautifully done by the way. I think maybe this is “Chesterfield King” from the girls perspective? Can I just spend the rest of this write-up talking about how perfect of a song “Chesterfield King” is? Name a better punk rock love song. You can email them to me and I will reply “WRONG!”. Woof, what a magical song. Anyway, this here album is fully-loaded with catchy-ass ditties with clever-ass lyrics. Basically anything you can add “-ass” to, this album’s got it. By the way, I can’t find a complete stream of this on bandcamp but all songs are available on Spotify.  Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

the gubs self titledThe Gubs – Self Titled
If you like your leather jacket without spikes this is right up your alley, and in all likelihood you are hanging out in an alley, or you should be anyway. It’s your standard contemporary ramones-core album but a few notches above most. It’s nice to see so many bands (I’m looking at you Europe) still recycling this plot, and I’m not being at all sarcastic. Wait, now it sounds even more sarcastic. I’m not being sarcastic! Even the bad ramones-core bands are still kind of good. I do have a soft spot for this genre though, since it is the genre that introduced me to punk in the mid 90’s. Those were the salad days for this stuff, and if we’re honest with each other, none of today’s bands can hold a candle to Screeching Weasel or The Queers, but The Gubs can probably hold a match or a bic lighter. I don’t think those guys want anybody waving candles around at their shows anyway.  Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

ENDNOTES: Oh man, it’s hard not to be depressed this time of year in Vancouver. Can’t we just have a normal winter instead of being stuffed in a damp grey sack for 6 months? Anyone from back east who complains about snow should try getting drizzled on in the cold in a greyscale landscape for half the year and see what that does to your mental stability. I swear to god everything here is black and white. There’s no colour. Not even black and white, it’s just black and grey. I would kill for a splash of white around here. Oh well, don’t worry about me. If I was going to jump off a bridge I would do it in the summer when the water’s a bit warmer. By the way, I’m not going to jump off a bridge guys.

December, of course, is a busy month for The Doesn’t Suck. I have to start working on the year-end top 10 and figure out what the best songs of the year were. There will be no top 5 at the end of December, just a top 10 for the entire year, but albums released this month will be in consideration, so please stay tuned for all of that excitement. I might even try to figure out what my top 10 albums of the decade are, but we’ll be discussing that on twitter in great length I’m sure. Speaking of twitter, you should follow me there and join in on the fun punk-related discussions. Also please tell all your friends this is your favourite new music resource. Write me a letter and do not forget to look through the SCRAP HEAP for a ton of other great releases from November. It’s a little light this time cuz I was on vacation for half the month but still lots to discover. Bye.

Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [OCTOBER 2019]

tenpera businessTenpera – Business
You don’t need to have a lot of words in your songs to make an impact. Not on my simple-minded self anyway. What this lacks in diction, it makes up for in unconstrained attitude fool. Wow, sorry, it’s just got me in that kind of mood you know. This album is a mood in itself and I’m not just saying that to sound cool. Ok fine, I am. [the rest of this write up has been redacted because it was too stupid]   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

lacing withoutLacing – Without
You know how you’re glad something’s back, even though it never really went away? That’s how I feel about shoegaze and seriously, don’t DM me on this, but it’s better than ever. I admittedly missed out on the first wave though. I was too busy with important things like collecting hockey cards and wearing Ghostbusters sweat pants. Which wave of shoegaze are we on now anyway? I want to say third wave? But then what was the second wave? I wouldn’t know cuz I was too busy learning how to kickflip and wearing Ghostbusters sweat pants (which were a little tight by then let me tell you). Obviously I don’t know wtf I’m talking about with respect to this particular genre. I’m working on that, but I do know what I like: my Ghostbusters sweat pants, and also this band Lacing. Their new album will lull you into a warm foggy hypnosis only to shock you awake by dumping a bucket of ice cold static on your head. Terrifying yet refreshing. Just like Ghostbusters sweat pants.   Listen on Bandcamp

dogs tale boiling pointDog’s Tale – Boiling Point
This is the one I keep coming back to. You can always tell when someone has a natural knack for something. For me, as you can see, it’s exquisite literature of the highest caliber, bordering on the likes of Tolstoy, or dare I say Nabokov. For the young lass in Dog’s Tale, the knack is for songwriting. Are we ok to use the word ‘lass’ nowadays? What if I’m not Irish? I’m assuming it’s ok in Ireland or Scotland. They’re allowed to say ‘cunt’ too. Or is that Australia? Probably both. Imagine living somewhere you can just throw around the word ‘cunt’ without offending anyone. The world is not all bad afterall. Anyway this feels like the early stages of an incredible band. I can hear them sussing things out a bit still, but the guts and the talent are palpable. Here’s hoping there’s more to come. Keep them on your radar.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

raze on high in green tomorrowsRaze – On High In Green Tomorrows
This is some sicc Toronto hardcore, but as a citizen of Western Canada I am bound by law, and cannot move forward with this write up until I make clear to all readers that Toronto does indeed suck and so does their hockey team. Having said that, I am now required by the province of British Columbia to denounce all association with our neighboring province of Alberta. Though we have a shared hatred of all things Toronto, us as British Columbians are not cowboys, or oilers and the Flames suck. Ok, now we can move on. Yeeee hawww! Giddyup! This album jumps!   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

jumpstarted plowhards round oneJumpstarted Plowhards – Round One
At first I was all “Meh I don’t know if I’m super feelin’ this whole album”. Then I had a complex inner-battle about whether I should put it in the top 5 anyway, just because it has the guy from The Underground Railroad To Candyland (a band I really like). In the end I decided I would just force myself to like the whole album, and a funny thing happened. When I listened to it the second time, suddenly it was way more awesome than the first time, and if I remember correctly, I had the same experience with Underground Railroad. It’s hard to remember anything correctly though, if I’m being honest. Ever since the procedure.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

ENDNOTES: So October was cool. I turned 37 but I thought I was turning 36. That’s like thinking it’s Friday when it’s only Thursday but a lot worse. I’m going on vacation from November 6th to 22nd which means there won’t be a DOESN’T ENGLISH for November and there won’t be any activity on twitter. To the three people who are mildly disappointed by this news, I apologize but not really. Thank you friends, for reading this month. I hope you find something you like. I mean, if you don’t like at least one of these releases then I have to say, you’re not very good at listening to music and you might need more practise. Please keep supporting underground bands and telling all your friends this is your favourite new music resource. Oh and don’t forget to follow me on twitter and check out the SCRAP HEAP for a ton more great releases from October. Yeah bye.

Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [SEPTEMBER 2019]

cassels the perfect endingCassels – The Perfect Ending
Be warned, there is some HEAVY subject matter here. If you really want to take a minute to reflect deeply on some of the more fucked up aspects of society, in a very gut-punchy kind of way, well this is your band. Wash it down with a stiff drink cuz it can be hard to digest, but holy frick is it good. I wouldn’t want to have it every day, but when you’re in the mood for something potent and severe, this is gonna hit the spot. It’s like the thinking mans alt punk with all the angles, all the maths and all the attitude. It’s quite unlike anything you’ve heard before. The talent level out of these two lads is nothing short of astonishing. I’m trying to think of something funny to say and I can’t. This album got me in a really serious mood. I’m feeling dumb as fuck too cuz I’m pretty sure these kids are half my age and twice as intelligent.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

red room call caa nowRed Room – Call CAA Now
For those of you who aren’t Canadian, CAA is the Canadian version of AAA, which stands for Against All Authority. CAA stands for Commence All Authority. They were not the most popular punk band. The whole thing was a little unfortunate actually, but we all learned a valuable lesson. Why does a sick-ass band like Red Room want you to call CAA though? That’s the part I don’t understand. How do you even call a band that doesn’t exist anymore? Last I heard, the members of CAA were all in hiding. Anyway, I guess Red Room is no longer a band either. This is supposed to be their final release? That sucks cuz this is some grouchy-ass hardcore done to perfection.   Listen on Bandcamp

killcult self titledKillcult – Self Titled
I first read this as KillCUT which would have been a marginally more rad name, but Killcult gets the job done. Either way you’re going to get killed. This is murderous music. Homicidal if you will. It hearkens back to a deadlier time in punk. The violent sensibilities of early hardcore blended lovingly with the attitude of first wave snarl. You know what, I am really coming into my own as a writer, don’t you think? Anyway, look at this gnarly album art. It’s a goddamn spider on a skull. That’s a nasty looking spider too. A throwback to a time when skulls and spiders were edgy, and tattoos were cool. Oh you don’t think tattoos were cool in the 80’s? Well I have three words for you: Aaron Neville’s face.   Listen on Bandcamp

sneeze finSneeze – Fin
Let me tell you, there are some real ear-worms on this album. Especially track one. I’ve had the hook stuck in my head for weeks now: “DYYINNNG CHILLLLDRENN”. Needless to say, I’ve been getting some funny looks from my co-workers. I work at an orphanage by the way, so the orphans were getting a bit weirded out too, at first, but now I’ve got them all singing along Oliver-Twist-food-glorious-food style. It’s really quite something. Yo, this band is called Sneeze, lol. You’ve got to respect the name choice. I’m so curious about how they settled on that though. Were they sitting around like “What are we gonna call this band?” and then one guy sneezed and they were like “YES! THAT’S IT!” Look, the name is actually pretty good, but that’s beside the point: the music here is of the unsucky nature.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

Humelly ДежевыйHumelly – Дежевый
Привет товарищи. Я пьян на русской водке и слушаю Humelly. Я больше не представляю страну Канады, премьер-министр которой – шут. Я больше не фанат Сидни Кросби. Теперь я команда Ovi. Этот блог будет переходить на весь русский диалог в ближайшем будущем. Извините, что сообщаю вам эту новость, но группы в России слишком сильны. Музыка такая холодная и такая серая. Это не может быть побеждено. Я осуждаю любую принадлежность к западному миру, я переезжаю в Якутск и создаю группу под названием «Путин Шмутин». Это будет популярная поп-группа. Вы можете думать, что вы хотите. Это больше не влияет на меня. Сейчас я должен идти. Зима приближается.   Listen on Bandcamp

ENDNOTES: Oh isn’t it nice, the weather is changing! Yeah, from really good to really shitty. Oh all of the leaves are turning beautiful colours! Yeah, because they’re dying and soon going to fall off and blanket the neighborhood in a soggy layer of decaying biomass. Yay now we can wear our fall outfits! Ok I’ll give you that. At least it’s leather jacket season. I heard a song recently called “Leather Jacket Season” but I can’t, for the life of me, remember who it was by. It’s probably in the SCRAP HEAP somewhere, so be sure to poke around in there a bit. Wear gloves though, and poke from a distance with a stick. Thank you for reading another Top 5, and I’ll thank you in advance for continuing to support underground music. Please tell all your friends this is your favourite new music resource and the best place to find weird bands. Follow me on Twitter (@SteveDoesnt) so you can join in all the fun music conversations I have with my followers. Also, please don’t pretend you’re happy it’s fall. Can we all just be honest this year? Fall sucks! Bye.

Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [AUGUST 2019]

brat curseBrat Curse – Self-titled  [Buy it on Amazon!]
Track One: Sweat Pants Lawyer. Boom! I’m sold. How can this not be awesome? Then you hit play and whabamoh! You’re getting rocked and also rolled like never before. Ok well that’s not true. I shouldn’t have said never before. I mean it’s good but it’s not like never before. Or maybe it is. Feck I don’t know. Maybe you’re a very young child and this is your first time getting rocked and rolled. Look, it’s none of my business anyway.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

ceilings time slipsCeilings – Time Slips  [Buy it on Amazon!]
This just in: Winnipeg sucks. Just kidding, I’ve never been. I hear it sucks though, which is probably why a lot of great bands come from there. Well, at least one great band has come from there. Two now. And one Burton Cummings, who, lets face it, has the most beautiful voice this side of heaven. I’m not even being sarcastic this time. The man has the voice of a saint and the mustache of a god. You know what, fuck this band, I’m gonna go listen to some Burton.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

ultrasurf ideas vaciasUltrasurf – Ideas Vacías
Holy hell, watch your step, the rhythm is relentless over here. You can’t stand still to this unless you’re dead, and if you’re dead, what business do you have standing on your feet anyway? Lay the fuck down you creepy corpse, so we can roll you into a corner and deal with you later. Man, this is some energetic surfy post punk en espanol. It reminds me a bit of a Swedish band called Terrible Feelings only more agitated. Is Spain more agitated than Sweden? It probably is. I mean I would assume so. What the hell does Sweden have to be agitated about? Peace and serenity? Feck off. Hey, what the hell am I even talking about guys?   Listen on Bandcamp

the sunlight machine careers dayThe Sunlight Machine – Careers Day  [Buy it on Amazon!]
Somehow this young lad is channeling the vocal chops of Frankie Stubbs and absolutely doing it justice. You hear the resemblance right? I think he might be possessed by Frankie’s ghost, which is strange because Frankie’s still alive. Ok I’ve got it: This is Frankie Stubbs’s son. Haha this guy’s gonna read this like “who the feck is Frankie Stubbs?”. You should be ashamed of yourself for not knowing who Frankie Stubbs is. At the moment this post is not yet the top google search result for “Frankie Stubbs” but now it is.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

lindenwood die with meLindenwood – Die With Me  [Buy it on Amazon!]
No time to get your ass rocked off? I know how it is. Life is demanding and we’re all just doing our best to meet those never ending deadlines. The good news is, you can now get your ass rocked off in four easy songs. That’s right, if you have fifteen minutes, you have time for a whooping thanks to Lindenwood, the Filipino band named after a tree that does not grow in the Philippines. I’m 100% assuming that by the way. I’m not a goddamn arborist, but I’m pretty sure that is a tree and it doesn’t grow in the Philippines. If you know that to be false, please keep it to yourself. Why can’t you just let me have this?   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

ENDNOTES: If this months write-ups are making even less sense than usual (is that even possibe?) it’s because I’m sick and maybe a bit high on Buckleys. I’m not feeling this at all right now so let’s just skip to the part where I tell you to check out the SCRAP HEAP for a whole lot more new releases from this month, and keep fighting the good fight, keep listening to weird music, and supporting weird bands and tell your friends this is your favourite new music resource and so on and what have you. Bye.