Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [OCTOBER 2018]

apsurd DerealizacijaApsurd – Derealizacija
I’m so stoked on this band, this is the second time in a month they’ve been featured on The Doesn’t Suck. Chances are you’ve been sleepin’ pretty heavily on Serbia. I’ll admit, I have been too, so let this be an alarm clock to us all. Serbia has more than just vampires and paprika goddammit. Serbia has vampires? I thought that was Romania.. No! It’s Serbia too ok. Educate yourself for Jesus Christs sake. This is possibly my favourite hardcore album of 2018, so far, and there is some stiff competition out there. I read on their bandcamp page that this is influenced by the former Yugoslavia hardcore scene.. Cool! No wonder it sounds so vital. To me it seems stripped right down. Just straight up hardcore. No bells and/or whistles, maybe a couple interesting guitar solos. Nice and fast and relentless. If you’re a hardcore purist, maybe this is exactly what you’re craving. Maybe you’re also craving tacos. I know I am.   Listen on Bandcamp

strange ranger how it all went byStrange Ranger – How It All Went By
Well it’s no secret, I’m basically perma-boned on Strange Ranger and have been since they had a cooler name and made better music. It’s ok though, because even the watered down version of Sioux Falls is better than almost any current band out there. And let’s be clear, when I say “current” I’m not including those on-again off-again bands that are still touring 25 years after they peaked. Wow! Why am I being so mean? I’m sorry. I just got myself into a bad mood somehow. Look, I like this EP a lot. It’s a little more Rot Forever and a little less Daymoon. Loved Daymoon, but I hope they stay on this trajectory cuz let’s face it, Rot Forever was one of the best albums of the decade. And if you don’t agree with that then you need to brush up your music listening skills pal! Wow! This rage inside of me.. Where is this coming from? Get off my back! Get me a Pepsi! YOU’RE THE ONE THAT’S CRAZY! *runs into the streets and starts howling at the moon* Oh wait that’s a street light. *goes back inside and continues watching Jeopardy*   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

the mustard tigers thanks for the toastThe Mustard Tigers – Thanks For The Toast
Erf! It’s so promising to hear young bands out now doing punk that captures the spirit so perfectly of the stuff I grew up listening to in the 90’s. I guess these Mustard Tigers guys actually broke up last year, so not as promising as I thought maybe, but comforting nonetheless. What’s equally awesome is the way they recorded this album; Live in the studio in 4 hours, just like every great punk album should be. Snotty as hell too. The whole album reeks of an unkept teenage bedroom. You know that Febreeze commercial (shout out to Febreeze), where the mom is like “You need to clean this room” and the kid’s like “CLEAN IT?” … (uh yeah,fuckin’ clean it kid. What don’t you understand?) Then at the end some girls come over and they’re all “Damn boi! This room smells clean as hell! Time for you to lose your virginity!” It’s a pretty scientific commercial. What were we talking about?   Listen on Bandcamp

neds total disasterNeds – Total Disaster
Neds is the name of the band, which means (as any logical person would assume) that all the members of this band are named Ned, which (as any educated person knows) is short for Alfned. Wow, hey, what are you doing? You don’t need to google this. I already did the research pal. Moving on.. These Alfneds, are really dishing out some solid sing-along-able indie punk; Right off the medieval streets of Rennes France. All the songs are in English but with noticeable accents that make it sound twice as rad. Look, for all I know, ‘Neds’ means something totally different in France. Maybe it’s not even a name. Is that really any of my business though? Maybe it is. I don’t know. What’s with all the questions?   Listen on Bandcamp

Basement benders schrapnel songsBasement Benders – Shrapnel Songs
Straight outta Chattanooga Tennessee (Home of.. umm.. choo choo trains?) The Basement Benders are back, so get ready to rock! Seriously, if you’re not ready to rock, this album is going to be a very strenuous experience for you. How does one prepare oneself for a’rockin’ though? Good question friend. It’s a three step process: Step 1. Stretch your back and groin. Step 2. Apply deodorant liberally. Step 3. Do a little practice rocking before the real thing. Now you’re ready to flat-out rock. Proceed with complete abandon. Supposedly this band has members of This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb, which explains the awesomeness. Also I’m hoping if they’re reading this, maybe they can offer some insight into a post I did a while ago (see previous link) about a Pipe Bomb show in Asheville NC. That would be great. Or not, that’s cool too. Whatever. I don’t even care. Fine then! YOU’RE THE ONE THAT’S CRAZY!   Listen on Bandcamp

ENDNOTES: Welp, October is over which means I’m another year older and still living under the same ethos as always: Don’t resist change, don’t lose touch, don’t get left behind. That goes for the music I listen to, and also everything else in life. I was reading The Invisible Man by H.G. Wells last night and in one passage he used the N-word, just totally nonchalantly like it was the most normal thing ever. It got me thinking: Thank god the world has changed since 1897, and people don’t just openly talk like that anymore (well at least most of us know that it’s wrong now). What I’m trying to get at is, things have to change. Words and schools of thought are going to be taken away from us, and we can’t be defensive about it. We can’t be protective of it. We have to let it go. Someday, in the not too distant future, we’re going to look back at a lot of the things we said and did in the 90’s and 2000’s and we’re going to see it the same way I saw the N-word in The Invisible Man: We didn’t realize how ignorant we were at the time, but it’s a good thing we changed our ways.

As always, I hope you enjoy the albums I’m finding. I hope this is the new music resource of your dreams, and I hope you continue to seek out weird music and find new bands. Do not forget to check the Scrap Heap for all the other killer releases I found along the way. This month I’m leaving you with a music video for one of my favourite songs of 2018, including lyrics. Amazing lyrics! And the IDLES Joy As An Act Of Resistance LP has one of my all-time favourite album covers. Hope you enjoy!

My blood brother is an immigrant – A beautiful immigrant
My blood brother’s Freddie Mercury – A Nigerian mother of three
He’s made of bones, he’s made of blood He’s made of flesh,
he’s made of love, He’s made of you, he’s made of me, Unity
Fear leads to panic, panic leads to pain – Pain leads to anger, anger leads to hate
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Danny Nedelko!
My best friend is an alien (I know him, and he is) – My best friend is a citizen
He’s strong, he’s earnest, he’s innocent
My blood brother is Malala – A Polish butcher, he’s Mo Farah
He’s made of bones, he’s made of blood, He’s made of flesh,
he’s made of love, he’s made of you, he’s made of me, Unity
Fear leads to panic, panic leads to pain – Pain leads to anger, anger leads to hate
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Danny Nedelko!

Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [JULY 2018]

vacant company decolonizeVacant Company – Decolonize
Ok every hardcore band currently in existence, I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. The bad news is called Vacant Company. Unfortunately for you they have raised the bar just a tad. You’re all going to have to regroup and come up with something better now. Hey, that’s just the way it goes. Sometimes you get schooled. Let this be a lesson to you. Your best bet is to study this album, listen to it day in and day out; While you make breakfast, while you drive in your car, and while you sleep at night. Then try to (and good fucking luck with this) come up with something of your own that is on the same level. It’s not your fault this band is just trailblazing your asses, but that’s the reality you now have to live with. Don’t be discouraged. Don’t give up. You can do this. I believe in you some of you a small a very small few of you.   Listen on Bandcamp

dim it feels like homeDim – It Feels Like Home
The lessons just keep on coming don’t they? Here you go fledgling screamo bands, this is your homework. Listen to it a lot. Commit it to memory. Take careful notes and practice practice practice. Maybe someday you yourself will put out something this goddamn brilliant. I’m not going to sugar coat this for you. You probably do suck a lot, but maybe, just maybe you have what it takes. And by ‘what it takes’ I mean Dim. Dim the band, not the mental misalignment or lack of lighting. Is this emo at it’s screamiest? No, it is not. Is it Screamo at it’s emoiest? I don’t think so. This is what you call warm porridge. What a stupid word porridge is. Porridge. Say it, porridge. It’s starting to sound like a Descendents song. Wait, Is that a Descendents song?    Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

bad shapes rough edges epBad Shapes – Rough Edges
Incredible lyrics go a long way towards making me love a band. I’ll even forgive some pretty awful musicianship in lieu of some quality wordsmithery. This album is not an example of that. This is one of those scattered-chance situations where you have both worlds colliding like two sides of a zipper, thus closing the jacket of perfection.. What in holy hell am I typing right now? Sorry about that. I thought I had something. You get the idea though right? This is a really good little EP. Actually it’s not that little; these are some pretty hefty songs. One of them has what appears (can things appear sonically?) to be voice clips of alien encounter anecdotes. I mean damn. I bet aliens can appear sonically. If you live in Philadelphia you would be remiss to not see this band play live. I’m jealous that you even have the opportunity to do so. I can sense how mind-blasting this would be in person. Listen, you’re just a fool if you don’t go to their next show pal. Unless it’s on a weeknight. If it’s on a weeknight you should probably just stay home and get to bed at a decent time. I’m ok with that.   Listen on Bandcamp

special moves julySpecial Moves – July
I don’t know about you, but I like my lo-fi vocals super fuzzy and extra squealy. No, seriously I do. It’s Frederic Chopin to my ears. I heard an interview with Vinnie Stigma on Turned Out A Punk once and he was talking about how punk rock made him a lover of awful vocals, and how he often judges a band by how crappy the singer is. The worse the voice the better. I tend to operate under that same logic. Don’t get me wrong, I love the voices of people like Lauryn Hill and Percy Sledge, but I’ll take Ron Reyes or Milo Aukerman all day over some pretty singer. Adele can go to uh-hell! Anyway, so if the singer for Special Moves is reading this right now, he’s either nodding his head in agreement, or he’s just had an awakening from years of denial. Sorry pal, your voice is trash, and by trash I mean solid gold! Everyone should support Reflective Tapes by the way. They’re putting out so many rad cassettes. Get this and put it in your ghetto blaster.   Listen on Bandcamp

way no bueno self titledWay No Bueno – Self Titled
If punk rock is an aquarium (and I’m almost certain it is), then these lads are the catfish. I’m not trying to imply that Way No Bueno are a bottom feeding band by the way. I just mean their music sounds a lot like how catfish probably tastes. I’ve never actually had the privilege of eating a catfish (I live in salmon country) but I’m assuming it’s as sweet and tender as these tunes are. A little bit greasy too, but hey, grease has important vitamins in it. I’m pretty sure it’s high in vitamin L. There’s no need to fact-check me on this. Haha relax, I know what I’m talking about. Isn’t it weird how British people say ‘vitamin’? There’s that one Big Audio Dynamite song where Mickey Jones keeps saying “Gimme another hit of vitimin C” over and over. Like he says it about 400 times in that song and by the end of it you’re almost convinced that maybe you should start pronouncing it that way. Almost, but then you remember Mick Jones was kicked out of the Clash for a reason; He was a mole for the Queen. Again, no fact-checking please.   Listen on Bandcamp

ENDNOTES:
Hey thanks for reading. I hope you found something you liked. I’m trying to make this your favourite new music resource. This is where you’re going to find the weird bands you’ve never heard of. The ones hiding deep inside the internet that your algorithms can’t locate. Please tell your friends and stay tuned! You never know what I might dig up next. Also, be sure to check out the Scrap Heap for loads of great bands that didn’t make the top five. Ok bye!
-Steve Doesnt