Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [OCTOBER 2018]

apsurd DerealizacijaApsurd – Derealizacija
I’m so stoked on this band, this is the second time in a month they’ve been featured on The Doesn’t Suck. Chances are you’ve been sleepin’ pretty heavily on Serbia. I’ll admit, I have been too, so let this be an alarm clock to us all. Serbia has more than just vampires and paprika goddammit. Serbia has vampires? I thought that was Romania.. No! It’s Serbia too ok. Educate yourself for Jesus Christs sake. This is possibly my favourite hardcore album of 2018, so far, and there is some stiff competition out there. I read on their bandcamp page that this is influenced by the former Yugoslavia hardcore scene.. Cool! No wonder it sounds so vital. To me it seems stripped right down. Just straight up hardcore. No bells and/or whistles, maybe a couple interesting guitar solos. Nice and fast and relentless. If you’re a hardcore purist, maybe this is exactly what you’re craving. Maybe you’re also craving tacos. I know I am.   Listen on Bandcamp

strange ranger how it all went byStrange Ranger – How It All Went By
Well it’s no secret, I’m basically perma-boned on Strange Ranger and have been since they had a cooler name and made better music. It’s ok though, because even the watered down version of Sioux Falls is better than almost any current band out there. And let’s be clear, when I say “current” I’m not including those on-again off-again bands that are still touring 25 years after they peaked. Wow! Why am I being so mean? I’m sorry. I just got myself into a bad mood somehow. Look, I like this EP a lot. It’s a little more Rot Forever and a little less Daymoon. Loved Daymoon, but I hope they stay on this trajectory cuz let’s face it, Rot Forever was one of the best albums of the decade. And if you don’t agree with that then you need to brush up your music listening skills pal! Wow! This rage inside of me.. Where is this coming from? Get off my back! Get me a Pepsi! YOU’RE THE ONE THAT’S CRAZY! *runs into the streets and starts howling at the moon* Oh wait that’s a street light. *goes back inside and continues watching Jeopardy*   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

the mustard tigers thanks for the toastThe Mustard Tigers – Thanks For The Toast
Erf! It’s so promising to hear young bands out now doing punk that captures the spirit so perfectly of the stuff I grew up listening to in the 90’s. I guess these Mustard Tigers guys actually broke up last year, so not as promising as I thought maybe, but comforting nonetheless. What’s equally awesome is the way they recorded this album; Live in the studio in 4 hours, just like every great punk album should be. Snotty as hell too. The whole album reeks of an unkept teenage bedroom. You know that Febreeze commercial (shout out to Febreeze), where the mom is like “You need to clean this room” and the kid’s like “CLEAN IT?” … (uh yeah,fuckin’ clean it kid. What don’t you understand?) Then at the end some girls come over and they’re all “Damn boi! This room smells clean as hell! Time for you to lose your virginity!” It’s a pretty scientific commercial. What were we talking about?   Listen on Bandcamp

neds total disasterNeds – Total Disaster
Neds is the name of the band, which means (as any logical person would assume) that all the members of this band are named Ned, which (as any educated person knows) is short for Alfned. Wow, hey, what are you doing? You don’t need to google this. I already did the research pal. Moving on.. These Alfneds, are really dishing out some solid sing-along-able indie punk; Right off the medieval streets of Rennes France. All the songs are in English but with noticeable accents that make it sound twice as rad. Look, for all I know, ‘Neds’ means something totally different in France. Maybe it’s not even a name. Is that really any of my business though? Maybe it is. I don’t know. What’s with all the questions?   Listen on Bandcamp

Basement benders schrapnel songsBasement Benders – Shrapnel Songs
Straight outta Chattanooga Tennessee (Home of.. umm.. choo choo trains?) The Basement Benders are back, so get ready to rock! Seriously, if you’re not ready to rock, this album is going to be a very strenuous experience for you. How does one prepare oneself for a’rockin’ though? Good question friend. It’s a three step process: Step 1. Stretch your back and groin. Step 2. Apply deodorant liberally. Step 3. Do a little practice rocking before the real thing. Now you’re ready to flat-out rock. Proceed with complete abandon. Supposedly this band has members of This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb, which explains the awesomeness. Also I’m hoping if they’re reading this, maybe they can offer some insight into a post I did a while ago (see previous link) about a Pipe Bomb show in Asheville NC. That would be great. Or not, that’s cool too. Whatever. I don’t even care. Fine then! YOU’RE THE ONE THAT’S CRAZY!   Listen on Bandcamp

ENDNOTES: Welp, October is over which means I’m another year older and still living under the same ethos as always: Don’t resist change, don’t lose touch, don’t get left behind. That goes for the music I listen to, and also everything else in life. I was reading The Invisible Man by H.G. Wells last night and in one passage he used the N-word, just totally nonchalantly like it was the most normal thing ever. It got me thinking: Thank god the world has changed since 1897, and people don’t just openly talk like that anymore (well at least most of us know that it’s wrong now). What I’m trying to get at is, things have to change. Words and schools of thought are going to be taken away from us, and we can’t be defensive about it. We can’t be protective of it. We have to let it go. Someday, in the not too distant future, we’re going to look back at a lot of the things we said and did in the 90’s and 2000’s and we’re going to see it the same way I saw the N-word in The Invisible Man: We didn’t realize how ignorant we were at the time, but it’s a good thing we changed our ways.

As always, I hope you enjoy the albums I’m finding. I hope this is the new music resource of your dreams, and I hope you continue to seek out weird music and find new bands. Do not forget to check the Scrap Heap for all the other killer releases I found along the way. This month I’m leaving you with a music video for one of my favourite songs of 2018, including lyrics. Amazing lyrics! And the IDLES Joy As An Act Of Resistance LP has one of my all-time favourite album covers. Hope you enjoy!

My blood brother is an immigrant – A beautiful immigrant
My blood brother’s Freddie Mercury – A Nigerian mother of three
He’s made of bones, he’s made of blood He’s made of flesh,
he’s made of love, He’s made of you, he’s made of me, Unity
Fear leads to panic, panic leads to pain – Pain leads to anger, anger leads to hate
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Danny Nedelko!
My best friend is an alien (I know him, and he is) – My best friend is a citizen
He’s strong, he’s earnest, he’s innocent
My blood brother is Malala – A Polish butcher, he’s Mo Farah
He’s made of bones, he’s made of blood, He’s made of flesh,
he’s made of love, he’s made of you, he’s made of me, Unity
Fear leads to panic, panic leads to pain – Pain leads to anger, anger leads to hate
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Danny Nedelko!

Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [AUGUST 2018]

crown poochedCrown – Pooched
Man these are some fuzzy little numbers. Very dog-centric songwriting here, and dogs are also fuzzy so my fuzz meter is really chirping right now. I wont attribute the awesomeness of this album to something in the water in Victoria because I’ve had the water in Victoria and there is nothing in it. It’s just water. There is something in the air though. Seagulls! A lot of marijuana smoke too probably. This is actually my favourite release this month and I have surprisingly little to say about it. Umm, lets see.. Well have you seen the album art? It has dogs on it and I think one of them is eating an ice cream cone. There might also be a gaint octopus creature eating an ice cream cone. I can’t be too sure. All four songs clock in at less than 7 minutes, so realistically, you could probably finish this thing off while your sweet and sour meatballs are cooking. I literally just Googled “what takes 7 minutes to cook”.    Listen on Bandcamp

album goneKaleb – Burn
I went to highschool with a Kaleb. He wasn’t the brightest knife in the shed that Kaleb. I think he was a year older than me and I graduated before him. That was the year the 90’s ended, and so we said goodbye to a decade of crucial bands and said hello to Smashmouth. Smashmouth is one word right? Hey whoever came up with the name of that band, we all owe you a high five dude. Actually, in all honesty, the early 2000’s were full of incredible bands that I was too busy listening to Tupac to notice at the time. The 90’s were quite likely the better decade though, and this band Kaleb seems to be aware of that. I can easily imagine a weird artsy early 90’s music video set to this music. Lots of long hair in the video too. Lots!    SORRY! This album is no longer available. I guess they took it down cuz they were ashamed or something. Idiots.

roseate wiltawayRoseate – Wiltaway
I had to Google the definition of Roseate just to get the phonetic spelling, so I could pronounce this band. I consider myself a bit of a wordsmith, but I’ve never heard of that word and, in truth, I do not like it. It’s stupid and I hate it, and I wouldn’t be caught dead using it in a sentence. Be that as it may, this band is a disturbance of wonderment that can not be measured. I think they could very well be the true path to peace on earth. It may be roseate of me to say so, but I’m sure there is something supernatural about these sounds. They cast a warm roseate light upon me as I sit here listening. In all conscience, you would have to be a horrible leprechaun of a person to not love this. I just wish they hadn’t given themselves such a stupid sucky name that feels awful in my mouth.    Listen on Bandcamp

tracy soto self titledTracy Soto – Self Titled
I would say this band was following in the footsteps of Inland Empire forefathers like Falling Sickness and The Voodoo Glow Skulls, but they’re not. They’re from Riverside CA and they’re not a ska punk band. Propgandhi was wrong in 1993 when they said “ska sucks” but, ex post facto, they were 100% correct. In other words, ska punk was cool in the 90’s. It is not cool anymore. It has not aged well. You have to grow out of it eventually like you would Weird Al or, well, Propagandhi. Actually that’s a bad example cuz I think I would respect the hell of someone if they were still a hardcore Weird Al fan in their mid 30’s. Anyway, yeah, no ska punk here whatsoever. We’ve got a mixed bucket of punk rock n roll with some indie punk sloshed around in there with some ice and someone’s foot cuz it hot in Southern California godammit! Ska punk bands, please stop. Do something like Tracy Soto is doing instead. It’s ok. It’s ok. Shhhhh shhhh. Let it go. Just let it go. It’s time. Shhh. Put that trumpet down. Uh uh. No. Shhhh. It’s ok.    Listen on Bandcamp

4brothers self titled4Brothers – Self Titled
Wow this is a treat for your ears folks. So many fun things are going to come through your headphones when you click play on this. It’s undeniably pleasing to listen to. Yes, it’s poppier than, uhhh what’s poppy? Popcorn? Wow. Yes and probably too poppy in fact, but holy hell I can’t get enough. I don’t feel guilty about it either. I’m not ashamed! Now it’s time for me to make an unfair association, based on gender and geography. 4Brothers is kind of like a 90’s band called Cigaretteman because they were both catchy pop punk bands with male/female vocals from Japan. The similarities don’t go any further than that. They sound nothing alike. Hey why is this band called 4Brothers though when one of the members is clearly a girl? Great, now I’m assuming genders. Maybe it’s a dude with a really angelic voice. I don’t know ok. Andre 3000 was great in that Four Brothers movie wasn’t he? Why isn’t he in more movies? Remember when DMX was making movies? Hahahahahaha oh wow. Those were bad. Ok I’m done here.    Listen on Bandcamp

ENDNOTES:
Hey thanks for reading. I hope you found something you liked. I’m trying to make this your favourite new music resource. This is where you’re going to find the weird bands you’ve never heard of. The ones hiding deep inside the internet that your algorithms can’t locate. Please tell your friends and stay tuned! You never know what I might dig up next. Also, be sure to check out the Scrap Heap for loads of great bands that didn’t make the top five. Ok bye! [These endnotes are a complete copypasta of last months endnotes because I just ran out of time this month and I have to get this thing posted!]