Top 10 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [JANUARY 2021]

states were in

States We’re In – Self Titled
(indie-punk) (emo)
Berlin, Germany 🇩🇪

the sunks wedding season


The Sunks – Wedding Season
(indie-rock) (garage-rock)
Omaha, NE 🇺🇸

Пекинский Велосипед Разминка


Пекинский Велосипед – Разминка
(emo) (indie-punk)
Yekaterinburg, Russia 🇷🇺

frat mouse plywood


Frat Mouse – Plywood
(emo) (indie-rock)
Los Angeles, CA 🇺🇸

petite league joyrider


Petite League – Joyrider
(indie-rock) (powerpop)
New York City, NY 🇺🇸

farewell horizontal an argument with an idiot


Farewell Horizontal – An Argument..
(indie-rock) (lo-fi)
Melbourne, AUS 🇦🇺

sekunderna Hjärtat


Sekunderna – Hjärtat
(pop-punk) (punk rock)
Umeå, Sweden 🇸🇪

breathe and repeat cuts and bruises


Breathe & Repeat – Cuts & Bruises
(post-hardcore) (shoegaze)
Minneapolis, MN 🇺🇸

sunday boxin hot box


Sunday Boxing – Hot Box
(punk) (garage-punk)
Charlotte, NC 🇺🇸

futurat incinerat


Futurat – Incinerat
(punk rock) (fuzz)
St. Petersburg, Russia 🇷🇺

Woof, it smells funny in here!

Hello loyal reader. Funny running into you here. Have you just been hanging around this place waiting for me all month? I’m sorry I took so long. You don’t look too hot. Why don’t you have any shoes on? Hello? Can you talk? What’s that? I don’t understand these gestures you’re making. Are you pretending to peel a banana? I don’t get it. Oh! You’re hungry! I’m sorry, I don’t have any food, but I do have a nice selection of new music for you. No? Why are you shaking your head? Come on! Oh the banana thing again.. I gotta say that’s getting old fast. Why don’t you relax. Hey! I said relax! I swear to god, one more time with this banana thing, I dare you. Yeah go ahead, see what happens.. Hm? Hm!? Yeah that’s what I thought. Okeedokee well I gotta be going. Here’s the music and.. Dude! Let go of my shirt! Damn, you’re weak. Alright well I gotta be outsy. Don’t forget to check the SCRAP HEAP! ttyl bye!

door closes

darkness befalls

chain

padlock

joyful whistling fades into the distance

amazing music begins to play

Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [SEPTEMBER 2019]

cassels the perfect endingCassels – The Perfect Ending
Be warned, there is some HEAVY subject matter here. If you really want to take a minute to reflect deeply on some of the more fucked up aspects of society, in a very gut-punchy kind of way, well this is your band. Wash it down with a stiff drink cuz it can be hard to digest, but holy frick is it good. I wouldn’t want to have it every day, but when you’re in the mood for something potent and severe, this is gonna hit the spot. It’s like the thinking mans alt punk with all the angles, all the maths and all the attitude. It’s quite unlike anything you’ve heard before. The talent level out of these two lads is nothing short of astonishing. I’m trying to think of something funny to say and I can’t. This album got me in a really serious mood. I’m feeling dumb as fuck too cuz I’m pretty sure these kids are half my age and twice as intelligent.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

red room call caa nowRed Room – Call CAA Now
For those of you who aren’t Canadian, CAA is the Canadian version of AAA, which stands for Against All Authority. CAA stands for Commence All Authority. They were not the most popular punk band. The whole thing was a little unfortunate actually, but we all learned a valuable lesson. Why does a sick-ass band like Red Room want you to call CAA though? That’s the part I don’t understand. How do you even call a band that doesn’t exist anymore? Last I heard, the members of CAA were all in hiding. Anyway, I guess Red Room is no longer a band either. This is supposed to be their final release? That sucks cuz this is some grouchy-ass hardcore done to perfection.   Listen on Bandcamp

killcult self titledKillcult – Self Titled
I first read this as KillCUT which would have been a marginally more rad name, but Killcult gets the job done. Either way you’re going to get killed. This is murderous music. Homicidal if you will. It hearkens back to a deadlier time in punk. The violent sensibilities of early hardcore blended lovingly with the attitude of first wave snarl. You know what, I am really coming into my own as a writer, don’t you think? Anyway, look at this gnarly album art. It’s a goddamn spider on a skull. That’s a nasty looking spider too. A throwback to a time when skulls and spiders were edgy, and tattoos were cool. Oh you don’t think tattoos were cool in the 80’s? Well I have three words for you: Aaron Neville’s face.   Listen on Bandcamp

sneeze finSneeze – Fin
Let me tell you, there are some real ear-worms on this album. Especially track one. I’ve had the hook stuck in my head for weeks now: “DYYINNNG CHILLLLDRENN”. Needless to say, I’ve been getting some funny looks from my co-workers. I work at an orphanage by the way, so the orphans were getting a bit weirded out too, at first, but now I’ve got them all singing along Oliver-Twist-food-glorious-food style. It’s really quite something. Yo, this band is called Sneeze, lol. You’ve got to respect the name choice. I’m so curious about how they settled on that though. Were they sitting around like “What are we gonna call this band?” and then one guy sneezed and they were like “YES! THAT’S IT!” Look, the name is actually pretty good, but that’s beside the point: the music here is of the unsucky nature.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

Humelly ДежевыйHumelly – Дежевый
Привет товарищи. Я пьян на русской водке и слушаю Humelly. Я больше не представляю страну Канады, премьер-министр которой – шут. Я больше не фанат Сидни Кросби. Теперь я команда Ovi. Этот блог будет переходить на весь русский диалог в ближайшем будущем. Извините, что сообщаю вам эту новость, но группы в России слишком сильны. Музыка такая холодная и такая серая. Это не может быть побеждено. Я осуждаю любую принадлежность к западному миру, я переезжаю в Якутск и создаю группу под названием «Путин Шмутин». Это будет популярная поп-группа. Вы можете думать, что вы хотите. Это больше не влияет на меня. Сейчас я должен идти. Зима приближается.   Listen on Bandcamp

ENDNOTES: Oh isn’t it nice, the weather is changing! Yeah, from really good to really shitty. Oh all of the leaves are turning beautiful colours! Yeah, because they’re dying and soon going to fall off and blanket the neighborhood in a soggy layer of decaying biomass. Yay now we can wear our fall outfits! Ok I’ll give you that. At least it’s leather jacket season. I heard a song recently called “Leather Jacket Season” but I can’t, for the life of me, remember who it was by. It’s probably in the SCRAP HEAP somewhere, so be sure to poke around in there a bit. Wear gloves though, and poke from a distance with a stick. Thank you for reading another Top 5, and I’ll thank you in advance for continuing to support underground music. Please tell all your friends this is your favourite new music resource and the best place to find weird bands. Follow me on Twitter (@SteveDoesnt) so you can join in all the fun music conversations I have with my followers. Also, please don’t pretend you’re happy it’s fall. Can we all just be honest this year? Fall sucks! Bye.

Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [JULY 2019]

sans lorenzo lombardSans Lorenzo – Lombard
(Midwest Emo) X (Northwest Indie Rock) ÷ (Post Punk) minus (Lorenzo) = A fecking dope-ass band. I can only imagine what they must sound like WITH Lorenzo! You know what this sounds like? Don’t answer that, it’s a rhetorical question. It sounds like raw potential. Not that they haven’t already achieved absolute awesomeness, but because if/when these guys put out another album, it’s going to completely blow my damn face off. There is a sad urgency to this that can only be fostered by the corn mazes of the midwest. Couple that with a totally new take on post-punk-emo and, I’m telling you, you’ve got something very special. I am totally stoked on this band right now and I don’t just throw around the word stoked indiscriminately you guys. Please Midwest Jesus! Send us more!   Listen on Bandcamp

feed the pet alitasFeed The Pet – Alitas     [Buy it on Amazon!]
STOKED! This reminds me of something and I can’t remember what it was but goddamn I must have loved it. How could I not remember something that would have been so rad? I listen to entirely too much music. That’s my problem, but I can’t stop. I’m in too deep. Speaking of deep, these songs are like the fucking Atlantic ocean in that regard. You know what, with writing like this I’m surprised the New York Times isn’t knocking at my door. It’s just a matter of time I figure. Or should I say times? Get it times? If this was a real life conversation I’d just be staring at you with a vacant look in my eyes right now. Anyway, obviously this band jumps. Get outa here and go listen to it ya little rascal. Actually wait. Don’t go yet. Read the rest of this first ya little rascal.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

someday best deep restSomeday Best – Deep Rest     [Buy it on Amazon!]
Remember that Braid song that said “slow as Rapid City”? That’s what always comes to mind when I think about Rapid City. What a great lyric too. This band doesn’t necessarily reflect the ironic slowness of their home town though. They’re slow at times but overall rather jumpy, and I imagine they’re literally pounding life into the kids of Rapid City, one frazzled indie punk jam at a time. Another thing I always think of when I hear about that city is how the Bouncing Souls had their alternator die somewhere between there and Mankato Minnesota, or so the story goes in that one song, whatever it’s called. Also, Rapid City is a cool-name for a city. It just sounds badass right? RIGHT? Thought so. There’s a song on here called Girls Of Summer. Don’t worry, it’s not what you think. Or is it? No, it’s not. Right? Wrong. Maybe. No.   Listen on Bandcamp

result of choice place of my dreamsResult Of Choice – Place Of My Dreams     [Buy it on Amazon!]
I hope you don’t need to sit down for a while cuz you’re about to get your butt slapped off dood. If you turn this up loud enough a circle pit will form no matter where you are, so use caution. For example, I would not start blasting this at your local lawn bowling club unless you wanna find out what it’s like to get an elbow to the chin from a senior citizen. When it comes to hardcore, I’m not really about that crossover metalic shit. I like the classic sound, so this is really hitting the spot for me. It’s not the hardest of core but it slaps all the same. Protect your posterior.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

Сияние ЖеланияСияние – Желания     [Buy it on Amazon!]
Surprise surprise, it’s another Russian band. How do you say ‘The Doesn’t Suck’ in Russian? I’m thinking of making a few changes around here. I need to be drinking more vodka too. You know, for research. I think this is the second band from Yakutsk I’ve featured on the blog which comes as no shock because I know there is a fierce underground punk scene happening there, and it is in fact considered the coldest major city on earth. It all makes perfect sense. Cold + angry kids = angrier kids = punk rock. It’s simple arithmetics. This is some foggy shoegaze punk too and I love that trend, especially when it’s executed in this way exactly.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

ENDNOTES: My apologies to all the bands featured in this months top 5. Usually my writing is absolutely immaculate, Shakespearean even, but I kind of half-assed it this month. I’ve got a lot on my mind ok. I’m getting married like next weekend and it’s freaking me the feck out. I’m having a lot of weird wedding dreams. I’m finding it hard to focus on much of anything, but I still feel inspired enough by these albums to throw this top 5 together, so I hope everyone finds something they like. Umm there is a cellist named Gordon Withers putting out an all cello all Jawbreaker covers album on August 6th, so work that into your life somehow. I’m hoping I can work it in to my wedding ceremony. Yo! Check out the SCRAP HEAP for a crap-load more great releases from this month. Keep listening to weird bands and supporting them however possible. Keep telling your friends this is your favourite new music resource, and most importantly: keep on fighting the good fight. Oh! & follow me on twitter to have lots of fun conversations with me an a bunch of other music nerds. @SteveDoesnt

Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [SEPTEMBER 2018]

guestbed ashtray parablesGuestbed – Ashtray Parables [Buy it on Amazon]
Ashtray Parables, not to be confused with (but surely inspired by) the Ashtray Monuments of the Jawbreaker persuasion, is the chillest album I’ve heard this year. If every guest-bed was this relaxing I wouldn’t have had so many nightmares about Beetlejuice when I was a kid. Why would I be scared by Beetlejuice you ask? The same reason I was scared by Harry & The Hendersons! Need I say more!!? In truth, this band doesn’t sound anything like Jawbreaker. That’s usually something I would say to express my dislike for something: as in “WTF?!! This soup doesn’t sound like Jawbreaker!” *spits soup on the floor* But in this case, it’s alright, because the tunes here are way cool. Look, I don’t know where you got the idea this blog was going to make sense. Whoever told you that should be locked away somewhere.   Listen on Bandcamp

criminal grossness criminal nicenessCriminal Grossness – Criminal Niceness
This is easily the best thing out of Winnipeg since Burton Cummings’s mustache. Here is a photo for reference. Yeah, exactly. You see what I’m saying now. This is high praise. But with all due respect to Burton’s stash, these guys don’t have time to break it to you gently. This whole EP clocks in at under 10 minutes. I think all these songs are sort of inspired by “I Don’t Wanna Walk Around With You” by the Ramones. They even use that line at the beginning, and the rest of the songs seem to follow the same “Boys rule, girls drool/My girlfriends got me totally bummed out” sort of rhetoric. Which, in today’s climate of feminism, is a risky thing to endorse, but I don’t think these guys mean anything by it. There’s no political statement being made here. It’s just an homage to an oddly specific type of Ramones song. The album art is exquisitely refined by the way. Truly majestic.   Listen on Bandcamp

horror my friend home lifeHorror My Friend – Home Life [Buy it on Amazon]
I like my Australian indie punk the same way I like my Australian shrubs. Prickly! This album is the musical parallel of riding your bike into a blackberry bush. Did you know that in Australia the blackberry bushes are the preferred habitat of the venomous blackberry bat? It’s true, trust me. You don’t even have to look this up. I’ve done all the research. You come to my blog, you find new bands and you get the cold facts about nature. That’s what they say about The Doesn’t Suck. That’s what they always say.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

имя твоей бывшей НАРИСОВАН ТУТ ЖЕ СТЕРТЫЙимя твоей бывшей – НАРИСОВАН, ТУТ ЖЕ СТЕРТЫЙ
[Buy it on Amazon!]
Another excellent band emerges from the Russian fog, like a man in a tracksuit, or a trench coat, or an elderly woman with a head scarf, or a pack of stray dogs.. An elderly woman wearing a tracksuit who has somehow tamed and leashed a pack of stray dogs wearing head scarves! Yes! If that doesn’t put this in perspective for you then I don’t know what the hell your problem is. Wait! A pack of stray elderly ladies wearing trench coats.. You know what, forget it. They’ve dubbed themselves north-east emo, which I think is to say they are not another midwest emo band. Which is a shame because we have so few of those nowadays, but not such a shame afterall, because what these guys are doing is equally, if not even more, rad. It’s so cool when bands from far off places reinvent the wheel so to speak. It’s like emo is potatoes and these guys are making vodka. Oof! It’s a relief to finally have the word “potatoes” on my blog.   Listen on Bandcamp

rockade epRockcade – Self Titled EP
If you grew up in a time when video game graphics were terrible and their theme music was terrific, you are automatically obliged to love this EP. You have no choice in the matter. Nostalgia is a powerful drug and you are defenseless dear friend. Why would you want to fight this anyway? It feels so good. You put this on and you’re transported back to some shaggy-carpeted basement with an old couch and a cat you’re allergic to. Look, if you want to piggyback on my memories you’re going to have to be allergic to cats. That’s just how it was. Dogs too, and almost every one of your friends had one or the other, or both. You had a fairly traumatic childhood. Come to think of it, this music is starting to make it difficult for you to breath. Ugh but it’s so dope.   Listen on Bandcamp

ENDNOTES:
Well, it’s October, AKA Death-Month. If you are one of those people who claim to love the fall, I hope there’s a very special place in hell for you. What is it exactly that you like about it though? The constant rain? The rotting leaves? The smell of salmon spawning? The perpetual grayness of everything, including your very soul? You must be one ray of fucking sunshine to find happiness in such things. I bet you’re a morning person too. I hate you. Hey, by the way, my birthday is in a couple weeks! Please don’t send me any b-day wishes, but please do continue to read my blog. Continue to seek out and discover new bands. Support said bands. Continue being music nerds and continue visiting The Doesn’t Suck: the worlds number one new music resource for weirdos. Have a miserable Halloween. Oh! And don’t forget to check the Scrap Heap for heaps of other great releases from September.

Doesn’t English (#016) – побег

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I have no idea what this band is even called. In their bandcamp URL they’re called Pobeg but on the bandcamp page itself they’re called побег. If that doesn’t confuse you enough, the name on the album art appears to be Jiosez. Typical Russian confusion tactics am I right? Pobeg, I think, is the english alphabet spelling of побег, which means “the escape”. Don’t quote me on any of this please. I’m very confused (in general but also about this band). At least there’s no confusion about how freakin’ rad this release is. If I were to transcribe this into colours, the lyrics would be grey or brown and the music itself would be purple with sharp bursts of pink and red. What, you don’t hear colours? I hear the rainbow y’all. This is so good. Track 2, oof! I love it so much.
[Buy it on Amazon!]