Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [OCTOBER 2019]

tenpera businessTenpera – Business
You don’t need to have a lot of words in your songs to make an impact. Not on my simple-minded self anyway. What this lacks in diction, it makes up for in unconstrained attitude fool. Wow, sorry, it’s just got me in that kind of mood you know. This album is a mood in itself and I’m not just saying that to sound cool. Ok fine, I am. [the rest of this write up has been redacted because it was too stupid]   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

lacing withoutLacing – Without
You know how you’re glad something’s back, even though it never really went away? That’s how I feel about shoegaze and seriously, don’t DM me on this, but it’s better than ever. I admittedly missed out on the first wave though. I was too busy with important things like collecting hockey cards and wearing Ghostbusters sweat pants. Which wave of shoegaze are we on now anyway? I want to say third wave? But then what was the second wave? I wouldn’t know cuz I was too busy learning how to kickflip and wearing Ghostbusters sweat pants (which were a little tight by then let me tell you). Obviously I don’t know wtf I’m talking about with respect to this particular genre. I’m working on that, but I do know what I like: my Ghostbusters sweat pants, and also this band Lacing. Their new album will lull you into a warm foggy hypnosis only to shock you awake by dumping a bucket of ice cold static on your head. Terrifying yet refreshing. Just like Ghostbusters sweat pants.   Listen on Bandcamp

dogs tale boiling pointDog’s Tale – Boiling Point
This is the one I keep coming back to. You can always tell when someone has a natural knack for something. For me, as you can see, it’s exquisite literature of the highest caliber, bordering on the likes of Tolstoy, or dare I say Nabokov. For the young lass in Dog’s Tale, the knack is for songwriting. Are we ok to use the word ‘lass’ nowadays? What if I’m not Irish? I’m assuming it’s ok in Ireland or Scotland. They’re allowed to say ‘cunt’ too. Or is that Australia? Probably both. Imagine living somewhere you can just throw around the word ‘cunt’ without offending anyone. The world is not all bad afterall. Anyway this feels like the early stages of an incredible band. I can hear them sussing things out a bit still, but the guts and the talent are palpable. Here’s hoping there’s more to come. Keep them on your radar.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

raze on high in green tomorrowsRaze – On High In Green Tomorrows
This is some sicc Toronto hardcore, but as a citizen of Western Canada I am bound by law, and cannot move forward with this write up until I make clear to all readers that Toronto does indeed suck and so does their hockey team. Having said that, I am now required by the province of British Columbia to denounce all association with our neighboring province of Alberta. Though we have a shared hatred of all things Toronto, us as British Columbians are not cowboys, or oilers and the Flames suck. Ok, now we can move on. Yeeee hawww! Giddyup! This album jumps!   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

jumpstarted plowhards round oneJumpstarted Plowhards – Round One
At first I was all “Meh I don’t know if I’m super feelin’ this whole album”. Then I had a complex inner-battle about whether I should put it in the top 5 anyway, just because it has the guy from The Underground Railroad To Candyland (a band I really like). In the end I decided I would just force myself to like the whole album, and a funny thing happened. When I listened to it the second time, suddenly it was way more awesome than the first time, and if I remember correctly, I had the same experience with Underground Railroad. It’s hard to remember anything correctly though, if I’m being honest. Ever since the procedure.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

ENDNOTES: So October was cool. I turned 37 but I thought I was turning 36. That’s like thinking it’s Friday when it’s only Thursday but a lot worse. I’m going on vacation from November 6th to 22nd which means there won’t be a DOESN’T ENGLISH for November and there won’t be any activity on twitter. To the three people who are mildly disappointed by this news, I apologize but not really. Thank you friends, for reading this month. I hope you find something you like. I mean, if you don’t like at least one of these releases then I have to say, you’re not very good at listening to music and you might need more practise. Please keep supporting underground bands and telling all your friends this is your favourite new music resource. Oh and don’t forget to follow me on twitter and check out the SCRAP HEAP for a ton more great releases from October. Yeah bye.

Top 5 Albums/EP’s That DON’T Suck [JULY 2019]

sans lorenzo lombardSans Lorenzo – Lombard
(Midwest Emo) X (Northwest Indie Rock) ÷ (Post Punk) minus (Lorenzo) = A fecking dope-ass band. I can only imagine what they must sound like WITH Lorenzo! You know what this sounds like? Don’t answer that, it’s a rhetorical question. It sounds like raw potential. Not that they haven’t already achieved absolute awesomeness, but because if/when these guys put out another album, it’s going to completely blow my damn face off. There is a sad urgency to this that can only be fostered by the corn mazes of the midwest. Couple that with a totally new take on post-punk-emo and, I’m telling you, you’ve got something very special. I am totally stoked on this band right now and I don’t just throw around the word stoked indiscriminately you guys. Please Midwest Jesus! Send us more!   Listen on Bandcamp

feed the pet alitasFeed The Pet – Alitas     [Buy it on Amazon!]
STOKED! This reminds me of something and I can’t remember what it was but goddamn I must have loved it. How could I not remember something that would have been so rad? I listen to entirely too much music. That’s my problem, but I can’t stop. I’m in too deep. Speaking of deep, these songs are like the fucking Atlantic ocean in that regard. You know what, with writing like this I’m surprised the New York Times isn’t knocking at my door. It’s just a matter of time I figure. Or should I say times? Get it times? If this was a real life conversation I’d just be staring at you with a vacant look in my eyes right now. Anyway, obviously this band jumps. Get outa here and go listen to it ya little rascal. Actually wait. Don’t go yet. Read the rest of this first ya little rascal.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

someday best deep restSomeday Best – Deep Rest     [Buy it on Amazon!]
Remember that Braid song that said “slow as Rapid City”? That’s what always comes to mind when I think about Rapid City. What a great lyric too. This band doesn’t necessarily reflect the ironic slowness of their home town though. They’re slow at times but overall rather jumpy, and I imagine they’re literally pounding life into the kids of Rapid City, one frazzled indie punk jam at a time. Another thing I always think of when I hear about that city is how the Bouncing Souls had their alternator die somewhere between there and Mankato Minnesota, or so the story goes in that one song, whatever it’s called. Also, Rapid City is a cool-name for a city. It just sounds badass right? RIGHT? Thought so. There’s a song on here called Girls Of Summer. Don’t worry, it’s not what you think. Or is it? No, it’s not. Right? Wrong. Maybe. No.   Listen on Bandcamp

result of choice place of my dreamsResult Of Choice – Place Of My Dreams     [Buy it on Amazon!]
I hope you don’t need to sit down for a while cuz you’re about to get your butt slapped off dood. If you turn this up loud enough a circle pit will form no matter where you are, so use caution. For example, I would not start blasting this at your local lawn bowling club unless you wanna find out what it’s like to get an elbow to the chin from a senior citizen. When it comes to hardcore, I’m not really about that crossover metalic shit. I like the classic sound, so this is really hitting the spot for me. It’s not the hardest of core but it slaps all the same. Protect your posterior.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

Сияние ЖеланияСияние – Желания     [Buy it on Amazon!]
Surprise surprise, it’s another Russian band. How do you say ‘The Doesn’t Suck’ in Russian? I’m thinking of making a few changes around here. I need to be drinking more vodka too. You know, for research. I think this is the second band from Yakutsk I’ve featured on the blog which comes as no shock because I know there is a fierce underground punk scene happening there, and it is in fact considered the coldest major city on earth. It all makes perfect sense. Cold + angry kids = angrier kids = punk rock. It’s simple arithmetics. This is some foggy shoegaze punk too and I love that trend, especially when it’s executed in this way exactly.   Listen on Bandcamp or Spotify

ENDNOTES: My apologies to all the bands featured in this months top 5. Usually my writing is absolutely immaculate, Shakespearean even, but I kind of half-assed it this month. I’ve got a lot on my mind ok. I’m getting married like next weekend and it’s freaking me the feck out. I’m having a lot of weird wedding dreams. I’m finding it hard to focus on much of anything, but I still feel inspired enough by these albums to throw this top 5 together, so I hope everyone finds something they like. Umm there is a cellist named Gordon Withers putting out an all cello all Jawbreaker covers album on August 6th, so work that into your life somehow. I’m hoping I can work it in to my wedding ceremony. Yo! Check out the SCRAP HEAP for a crap-load more great releases from this month. Keep listening to weird bands and supporting them however possible. Keep telling your friends this is your favourite new music resource, and most importantly: keep on fighting the good fight. Oh! & follow me on twitter to have lots of fun conversations with me an a bunch of other music nerds. @SteveDoesnt