From the DOESN’t SERIOUS COMEDY DEPARTMENT – David Ivan Neil

Finally! Finally someone has written two songs with corresponding videos detailing the outcome for The Terminator and one of the guys he shot in Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Yes, it’s no longer a mystery, and you need not wonder how the terminator had access to Tinder in 1991, because obviously he was futuristic and shit. A lot of people don’t realize there are Petro-Can’s in California but there are. There’s at least one. It’s proven in the video. Thank you to my countryman David Ivan Neil over at Kingfisher Bluez for bringing this information to the masses. You are a treasury of historical truths and your service is invaluable. Also these songs are captivating.

From the MOST INTERESTING SONG TITLES DEPARTMENT – Here are some recent discoveries:

awake by noon i hope youre okbinary commit more arsonbret rewalt adjectivecar spiders the luxury of silencecurrently in these united statesdeath cow slow drownhe was an artist he was a carpenter treat you wellhoney be well these emo kids and their damn polaroidshouseparty keep it simplejeffrey lewis works by tuli kupferberglatterman turn up the punk well be singinglife hacks awful man splitnow what if you lived here youd be home by nowoxford dwellingpaper rosesparty fridge all these songs are happy songspour me another pour purerileyshark party chumsmalltime vault the fury beneath the love

“Be Worry. Don’t Happy”
“I Went Somewhere And All I Got Was Something”
“I Wanna Hold Your Foot”
“B​.​Y​.​O​.​T. (Bring Your Own Tears)”
“I Seriously Wrote This One To Apologize To My Girlfriend After A Fight We Had In Which She Was 100% Correct and I Was 100% In The Wrong”
“Defender Of Lame Things”
“Yes, I Said You Were Dead. And Yes, I Used The F Word”
“Poison Your Boss”
“Kevin James Needs To See A Doctor”
“(That’s What) She Said Don’t”
“There’s No Problem You Can’t Handle By Running Away”
“Urethra Fork (the point where I start to judge​.​.​.​)”
“Fuck Me I Love Death Metal”
“Get Your Friends Together (To Commit Arson) (The Arson Song)”
“Space Jam 2: The Jam Spaces You”
“Ned Flanders Fields”
“I’ll Backhand The Fuck Out Of A Seagull”
“Around Here We Mourn Our Young”
“We Can’t Stop Here, This Is Rat Country”
“Ted Cruz Was The Zodiac Killer”
“I Have Mixed Drinks About My Feelings”
“God Released Me into the Wild and Now He’s Hunting Me for Sport”
“The Cheap Groceries On The Bottom Shelf Taste The Same As The Leading Brand”
“The All New iPhone 666”